1. 雲泥の差

Reading: うんでいのさ (undei no sa)
Translation: “the separation between clouds and mud”
Meaning: A vast difference between two things.

2. 犬猿の仲

Reading: けんえんのなか (ken’en no naka)
Translation: “the relationship of dogs and monkeys”
Meaning: A relationship of mutual hatred. Natural enemies.

3. 為せば成る

Reading: なせばなる (naseba naru)
(Literal) Translation: “if you take action, it will become”
Meaning: You can do it if you try.

This proverb comes from a poem by Uesugi Youzan (上杉鷹山), from back in the Edo period. It’s pretty cool and being a Japanese poem isn’t so long, so here’s the full text.

為せば成る
為さねば成らぬ何事も
成らぬは人の為さぬなりけり

naseba naru
nasaneba naranu nanigoto mo
naranu wa hito no nasanu nari keri

If you try, you may succeed.
If you don’t try, you will not succeed. This is true for of all things.
Not succeeding is the result of not trying.

4. 青天の霹靂

Reading: せいてんのへきれき (seiten no hekireki)
Translation: A bolt (lit. thunder) out of the blue (sky).

5. 鴨が葱をしょって来る

Reading: かもがねぎをしょってくる (kamo ga negi o shotte kuru)
Translation: “a duck comes along carrying a leek on its back”
Meaning: A very convenient happening, a stroke of luck.
Explanation: The reason for this proverb is that duck soup is made with leek, so it’s as though the duck came along just asking you to eat it.
Note: This proverb has a short form for everyday usage, 鴨ネギ (kamonegi)

6. 忙中閑あり

Reading: ぼうちゅうかんあり (bouchuu kan ari)
Meaning: Even when you’re very busy, there’s occasionally time to take a rest.

7. 初心忘るべからず

Reading: しょしんわするべからず (shoshin wasuru bekarazu)
Translation: We should not forget our beginner’s spirit. (the excitement/humility of starting something new)

8. 頭隠して尻隠さず

Reading: あたまかくしてしりかくさず (atama kakushite siri kakusazu)
Translation: “hiding your head but not your butt”
Meaning: Failing to completely cover up your bad deeds.

9. 沈む瀬あれば浮かぶ瀬あり

Reading: しずむせあればうかぶせあり (shizumu se areba ukabu se ari)
Translation: “if the current sinks, it will rise (again)”
Meaning: Life has its ups and downs.

10. 猫の首に鈴を付ける

Reading: ねこのくびにすずをつける (neko no kubi ni suzu o tsukeru)
Translation: “to put a bell around a cat’s neck”
Meaning: To discuss doing something that is nearly impossible to do.
Note: This proverb has its origin in one of Aesop’s fables.

11. 長所は短所

Reading: ちょうしょはたんしょ (chousho wa tansho)
Translation: “our strong points are our weak points”
Meaning: Over-reliance on our strengths leads to make careless mistakes.

12. 起きて半畳，寝て一畳

Reading: おきてはんじょう、ねていちじょう (okite hanjou, nete ichijou)
Translation: “(man needs just) half a tatami mat when awake, one tatami mat when asleep.”
Meaning: You need not be rich to live a satisfied life.

13. 李下に冠を整さず

Reading: りかにかんむりをたださず (rika ni kanmuri o tadasazu)
Translation: “don’t straighten your crown under the plum tree”
Meaning: Don’t invite undue suspicion on yourself.
Note: Because if you’re fiddling with your crown under the plum tree, people might think you’re trying to steal plums.

14. 猫を追うより皿を引け

Reading: ねこをおうよりさらをひけ (neko o ou yori sara o hike)
Translation: “rather than chase the cat, take away the plate”
Meaning: Attack problems at their root.

15. 井の中の蛙大海を知らず

Reading: いのなかのかわずたいかいをしらず (i no naka no kawazu, taikai o shirazu)
Translation: “the frog in the well knows not of the great ocean”
Explanation: This proverb is a metaphor for being mentally trapped by a narrow understanding of things.
Note: kawazu is the old way to say “frog”, in modern Japanese they are called kaeru

16. 多芸は無芸

Reading: たげいはむげい (tagei wa mugei)
Translation: “many skills is no skill”
Meaning: a Jack of all trades is a master of none.

17. 盛年重ねて来らず

Reading: せいねんかさねてきたらず (seinen kasanete kitarazu)
Translation: “the prime of your life does not come twice”
Meaning: You’re only young once.

18. 相槌を打つ

相槌

Reading: あいづちをうつ (aizuchi o utsu)
Translation: “striking the forge hammer”
Meaning: Giving verbal feedback while listening (eg. saying things like “yeah”, “uh-huh”, “I see”, etc)
Explanation: This proverb describes the rhythmic exchange of two smiths working on a katana.

19. 天は自ら助くるものを助く

Reading: てんはみずからたすくるものをたすく (ten wa mizukara tasukuru mono o tasuku)
Translation: Heaven helps those who help themselves.

20. 元も子もない

Reading: もともこもない (moto mo ko mo nai)
Meaning: Failure not only to make a profit (子 = 利益), but losing your investment (元 = 元金) too.

21. これを知るをこれを知ると為し、知らざるを知らずと為せ。これ知るなり。

Reading: これをしるをこれをしるとなし、しらざるをしらずとなせ。これしるなり。
Romaji: kore o shiru o kore o shiru to nashi, shirazaru o shirazu to nase. kore shiru nari.
Translation: To know that one knows what one knows, and to know that one doesn’t know what one doesn’t know, there lies true wisdom.
Note: Okay, so it’s not a proverb, it’s a Confucius (孔子／こうし） quote. But it was my 1000th tweet and I wanted to do something a little fancy.
Original Chinese: 知之为知之，不知为不知，是知也 (thanks, @Binglun!)

22. 窮鼠 猫を噛む

Reading: きゅうそねこをかむ (kyuuso neko o kamu)
Translation: “a cornered rat will bite the cat”
Meaning: Left with no choice, even a relatively weak person/animal will fight back.

23. 庇を貸して母家を取られる

A 庇 (hisashi) covering a front door.

Reading: ひさしをかしておもやをとられる (hisashi o kashite omoya o torareru)
Translation: “to lend the eaves and have the main house taken”
Meaning: Give an inch and they take a mile.

24. 悪銭 身につかず

Reading: あくせんみにつかず (akusen, mi ni tsukazu)
Translation: Dirty money doesn’t stay with a person for long.

25. ただより高い物はない

Reading: ただよりたかいものはない (tada yori takai mono wa nai)
Translation: “nothing is more expensive than free”
Meaning: Debts of money are more easily repaid than those of gratitude

26. 毒を以て毒を制する

Reading: どくをもってどくをせいする (doku o motte doku o sei suru)
Translation: “to use a poison to overcome a poison”
Meaning: Sometimes we need shady means to tackle shady problems

27. けんもほろろ

Romaji: ken mo hororo
Translation: cackle and gobble [ken and hororo are pheasant sounds]
Meaning: Being blunt & unsympathetic (attitude, response, etc.)

28. 生兵法は大怪我の基

Reading: なまびょうほうはおおけがのもと (namabyouhou wa ookega no moto)
Translation: Newly learned (unmastered) tactics are the origin of great blunders.

But recently I came across a very interesting deal the JR Tokai Tours offers: ぷらっとこだま (Puratto Kodama). I’m not the first to blog about this discounted ticket program, but it really is a great offer and deserves repeating, and I’ll also elaborate on things a little, since I actually tried out the program myself.

How much do you save?

Here’s a table showing the prices of tickets between stations. Typically you save between 2000 and 4000 yen off the usual fare (2000 to 7000 on the Green car seats), but exactly how much depends on when, where and how you choose to travel.

Note that there are different prices for regular seats versus seats on the “Green” cars (which are roomier and more comfortable, kind of like a shinkansen “First-class”), and also for busier times of year. The busy periods (2010) are from April 27 to May 6 (Golden week), and August 11 to 20 (Obon).

Table for Regular reserved seats
(busy period prices in parentheses)

Table for Green car seats
(busy period prices in parenthesis)

Note that because this offer is given by JR Tokai tours, you can’t use it outside of their section of the Shinkansen (bullet trains). Basically, you have to get on and off somewhere on or between Tokyo and Shin-Osaka.

Where do you get Puratto Kodama?

You can buy them online or at your nearest JR Tokai Tours office.

Buying online, you need to reserve your seat at least 5 days in advance. Why? Because they need to send you the tickets via postal mail (to a Japanese address). You also need to be able to navigate through a Japanese website.

a Puratto Kodama ticket

If you buy the tickets from a tour office, you can purchase them up until the day before. Important: You can’t buy same-day tickets. Also, these tickets are quite limited, so consider availability and plan ahead as much as you can. If you dilly-dally getting your ticket, you might end up with a smoking or non-smoking seat that you didn’t want, or you not be able to get a seat at all. Personally, I got my tickets 4 days in advance and from a tour office, and they were already running out of regular non-smoking seats, and that was for a train well outside their busier hours.

How do you use them?

Actually, the Puratto Kodama isn’t a “ticket” per say, you can’t just put it in the ticket wicket and walk on through; you have to show your Puratto Kodama “boarding slip” (乗車票) to the staff at the gate, who will stamp your pass and let you through, and you have to show it to the staff at the gate again when you get off at your destination.

When you get your tickets they will come in a little envelope with a map of each station showing which entries have staff available who can check your slip. In reality, you don’t need to worry about the station layouts unless you’re really pressed for time either to catch your ride or connect to the next one.

After you get on the train the staff will sooner or later come down the isle and ask to see your ticket, so show them the Puratto Kodama slip just as you would a regular ticket. They’ll check your seat and move on.

What’s the catch?

There are a few major drawbacks to using Puratto Kodama tickets as opposed to regular shinkansen tickets.

• You have to use the slower, older Kodama-class trains. They’re still much faster and more comfortable than buses, but they do take a bit longer than the other shinkansen (mostly because they stop at more stations).
  • Tokyo to Shin-Osaka via Nozomi : 2 hours, 36 minutes
  • Tokyo to Shin-Osaka via Hikari : 2 hours, 57 minutes
  • Tokyo to Shin-Osaka via Kodama : 3 hours, 57 minutes
• You have to be on the right train at the right time. JR has a rule that allows people who miss their train to get on a free-seat (自由席) on a later train. But if you’re using a Puratto Kodama ticket and you miss your train, you’re screwed.
• You have to get on and off at one of the major stations along the JR Tokaido Shinkansen line. So for example, you couldn’t buy a ticket from Osaka to Atami or Fuji-Shi (even though the train stops there), you’d have to buy it to Shizuoka, and then ride a different train from Shizuoka.

So basically, to save on money you’re sacrificing some flexibility and speed.

Perks

a Puratto free drink coupon

One neat perk of using the Puratto Kodama tickets is that you get a free drink out of the deal! Be sure not to confuse the drink coupon with your boarding slip, since they look almost identical. You can use the free drink coupon at most of the kiosks at the station or on the platforms, or at the on-train service cart that goes up and down the aisle every so often.

You get either a free 500ml soft drink (a 20-ounce bottle), or a 350ml can of beer. For a 100 yen extra you can have a glass of wine.

Bonus Shinkansen Tip

If the train looks empty, don’t be shy to move around. The worst that could happen is the staff asks you to go back to your assigned seat, or someone gets on the train with a reservation for the seat you’re using and you have to give it up to them. When I rode with the Puratto ticket, I sat a few rows off where I should have been since the train was really empty (my assigned seat was next to a chubby Japanese guy who was munching loudly on potato chips and playing Nintendo DS). When the staff came to check my ticket he didn’t say anything.

If you want to be extra sneaky about changing seats, wait until after they come and check your ticket.

The only one you absolutely must use

20 years old : 二十歳 （はたち）

In Japanese, you don’t say にじゅっさい, you say はたち.

Okay, if you’re just learning Japanese to communicate or for travel, you can stop here and you won’t be missing any vital information. The rest of these words are obscure at best and archaic at worst even for native Japanese (seriously, we’re talking post-JLPT-1級 level, here).

But if you’re like me and the thought of “archaic Japanese” gives you a jolt of excitement, or if you’re just curious, read on…

Words based on the calendar or life events

We’ll start with a collection of age words that are based on perceived or actual life events.

• 10 : 辻髪　（つじかみ） – This is the name of a Japanese children’s hair style.
• 15 : 笄年 　（けいねん） – Girls only. 15 is the age when they could start using hairpins in their hair.
• 20 : 丁年　（ていねん） – Men only. Under the Ritsuryo law system, this was the age when a man became subject to official assignments  (丁) (e.g. to X days of labor or taxes).
• 40 : 初老　（しょろう） – This is when you start (初) becoming old (老). In English, we would say “over the hill.”
• 50 : 中老　（ちゅうろう） – You’re in the middle (中) of becoming old.
• 50 : 艾年　（がいねん） – The age when your hair begins to turn white like a mugwort plant (艾：よもぎ）
• ６0 : 丁年　（ていねん） -The word for the year a person entered the official assignments system was also used for the year when one left it.
• 60: 還暦 （かんれき) - Literally meaning “revolving the calendar”, because the 10 calendar signs　（十干/じっかん） and the 12 astrological signs （十二支/じゅうにし） realign every 60 years.
  • Note: 還暦 is 61 years old under the “counting age” system. (See Below)
• 120 : 大還暦　（だいかんれき） – The “big calendar revolution”, this means you made it twice around the 60 year cycle. Congratulations!

One from a Chinese poem

• 70 : 古希 (こき）

This age word is from a famous poem by Tang Dynasty Chinese poet Du Fu (Japanese： 杜甫／とほ）. In Japanese translation, the relevant lines are:

酒債は尋常行く処に有り 人生七十古来稀なり

There is an English translation of this poem (曲江: Winding River) available, if you’re interested.

One for Shogi players

• 

  将棋　（しょうぎ） : a chess-like Japanese board game

  81 : 盤寿　（ばんじゅ） - Because the 9×9 Shogi board has 81 places.

Kanji play

When your language has thousands of highly complex characters, and you’re bored in the winter with nothing but a bottle of sake, word games are just a natural occurrence. Hundreds of years of Japanese ingenuity brings us these linguistic gems:

• 48 : 桑年　（そうねん） – The old form for 桑 is 桒, which can be broken down as four 十 characters and one 八 character, adding up to 48.
• 61 : 華寿　（かじゅ） – Because 華 can be seen as 6 十 characters and a 一.
• 66 : 緑寿　（ろくじゅ） – Because 緑 can be read as ろく, the same as 六 (6).
• 77 : 喜寿　（きじゅ） – The grass script form for 喜 is 㐂, which is actually 3 sevens, but if you pretend one of them is a 10 it becomes 七十七 = 77.
• 80 : 傘寿　（さんじゅ） – The abbreviated form of 傘 is 仐, which is 八十= 80.
• 81 : 半寿　（はんじゅ） – Because 半 can be broken down as 八 + 十 + 一 = 八十一 = 81.
• 88 : 米寿　（べいじゅ） – Because the kanji can be broken down as 八＋十＋八 = 八十八 = 88.
• 90 : 卒寿　（そつじゅ） – Because the abbreviated form of 卒 is 卆, which is 九＋十 = 九十 = 90.
• 95 : 珍寿　（ちんじゅ） – Because the left side of the kanji can be 十二 and the right 八三 (83 + 12 = 95)
• 99 : 白寿　（はくじゅ） – Because if you take one (一) away from the kanji for 100 (百), it becomes 白
• 100 : 百寿　（ももじゅ） – This one’s obvious… (百 = 100)
• 108 : 茶寿　（ちゃじゅ） – Because the kanji can be broken down as 十十 (20) plus 八十八 (88)
• 111 : 皇寿　（こうじゅ） – Because 白 is understood to be 99 (detailed above), and 王 is 一+十+一 = 12. 99 + 12 = 111
• 111 : 川寿　（せんじゅ） – Because 川 looks like 111.
• 119 : 頑寿　（がんじゅ） - Because 二 + 八 (元） = 10 and 百 + 一 + 八 = 109. 109 + 10 = 119.
• 120 : 昔寿　（せきじゅ） – Because 廿 (= 十十 = 20) + 百 (100) = 120.

And just to make sure that we never, ever run out of words…

• 1001 : 王寿　（おうじゅ） – Because 王 can be broken down as 千 + 一.
• 1007 : 毛寿　（もうじゅ） – Because 毛 can be broken down as 千 + 七.
• 1082 : 科寿　（かじゅ） – Because 科 can be broken down as 千 +八 + 十 + 二

These words (that include 寿), are collectively known as 賀寿　（がじゅ）.

Chouju

In Japanese, longevity (長寿/ちょうじゅ) is broken down into 3 stages, but there’s differences of opinion over which specific ages they indicate, so you might want to think of these words just as general estimates.

• 下寿　（かじゅ） :　60… or 80
• 中寿　（ちゅうじゅ） :　80… or 100
• 上寿　（じょうじゅ） : 100 or higher

Haka: a word with two ages?

破瓜　（はか） is another kanji/wordplay term for age, but is unusual because it means a different age when referring to different genders. The kanji 破 means to split or tear something, and apparently 瓜 (the kanji) can be split into two 八　八 characters (personally, I don’t see it). Hence:

• 瓜 = 八 + 八 = 16 (women)
• 瓜 = 八 ｘ 八 = 64 (men)

Soji

Japan also has a whole class of words ending in 十路　（そじ） to count age in tens.  In really old Japanese, (until about the Heian period) these words were also also used in counting regular objects.

• 20 : 二十路　（ふたそじ）
• 30 : 三十路　（みそじ）
• 40 : 四十路　（よそじ）
• 50 : 五十路　（いそじ）
• 60 : 六十路　（むそじ）
• 70 : 七十路　（ななそじ）
• 80 : 八十路　（やそじ）
• 90 : 九十路　（ここのそじ）

Confucius says

The Confucian text The Classic of Rites also specifies a collection of words for specific ages. Sorry ladies, you’re only allowed to use the ones from 50 on.

• 10 : 幼学　（ようがく）
• 20 : 弱冠　（じゃっかん）
• 30 : 年壮　（ねんそう）
• 30 : 壮室　（そうしつ） (if you have a wife)
• 40 : 強仕　（きょうし）
• 50 : 杖家　（じょうか）
• 60 : 杖卿　（じょうきょう）
• 70 : 杖国　（じょうこく）
• 80 : 杖朝　（じょうちょう）
• 81 : 漆寿　（しつじゅ）

The stages of life

You may have heard the words 少年 (しょうねん) or 青年 (せいねん) before, but did you know that these words point to different, generally understood stages of life? Exactly what ages these words refer to is not set in stone, but some documents from the Japanese Ministry of Health use the following groups:

• 0 to 4 : 幼年期
• 5 to 14 : 少年期
• 15 to 24 : 青年期
• 25 to 44 : 壮年期
• 45 to 64 : 中年期
• 65 onward : 高年期

Note about 壮年 (そうねん): 壮 here means to prosper or be active. 壮年 can refer either to age 30 specifically, or to all of a person’s active and productive years (generally starting at age 30).

Confucian age words

More? Yes, Japan also offers another selection of age words based one passage from the Confucian analects, in which he writes:

At fifteen my heart was set on learning; at thirty I stood firm; at forty I had no more doubts; at fifty I knew the mandate of heaven; at sixty my ear was obedient; at seventy I could follow my heart’s desire without transgressing the norm.

Source: Electronic Library: The Analects of Confucius (look for passage 2:4)

• 15 : 志学 (しがく）
• 30 : 而立 (じりつ）
• 40 : 不惑 (ふわく)
• 50 : 知命　（ちめい）
• 60 : 耳順　（じじゅん）
• 70 : 従心 (じゅうしん）

Note: these words are only for men.

Counting age the Asian way

The traditional way to count your age in East Asian countries is to start at one, not zero like we do in the west, and to increment by one at the end of every calendar year instead of on the individual’s birthday. The system is known in Japanese as 数え年　（かぞえどし） but Japan and most other Asian countries nowadays have very thoroughly adopted the western counting method (満年齢・：まんねんれい）, with the exception of Korea where the old counting method is still the de facto system.

One relic of the old counting system in Japan is the Coming of Age celebration, where boys and girls who turned 20 during the previous year all get to celebrate their passage into adulthood. Read the wikipedia article on Asian age counting if you’re interested.

Two kanji for “sai”

While we’re talking about age, I figured it would be good to include a short word about 歳 and 才. Both of these characters are read さい, both mean age. What’s the difference? 才 was originally an abbreviated form of 歳, so you can think of it as less “official” than 歳. People often use 才 because it’s easier to read and write, but on government documents and official application forms, you will always see 歳 used.

Interestingly, if you’re talking about the age of an animal, you should write 才. Using 歳 with an animal apparently makes the animal seem more human, so depending on your point of view, you could use it with monkeys and such.

Credit where credit is due

Here I’ve compiled a list of the links I referred to when I was locating and organizing all this information. Although I’m sure you’ll never need to know any more than I’ve covered here, there are a couple alternate forms and other super-obscure words out there (particularly on the Wikipedia page) if you’re for some reason totally crazy about this topic.

• 年齢 on Wikipedia (JP)
• チョット雑学：数を表す文字
• 「寿」模擬授業指導案
• 年齢の名称・異称
• 年齢を表す言葉 (the difference between 歳 and 才)

(Translation: Lloyd used his blog as an excuse to order delivery pizza 5 times in one month.)

Anyway, let’s start with the unique way that Japan handles its delivery pizza business…

By delivery only

Pizza in Japan is basically delivery-only

In Japan, you can’t really go out for pizza. If you try to track down your local pizza place by address… you’ll find a site something like you see in this picture of a Pizza-la in Nagoya (Osu), and it will probably be in a more residential area than a commercial one. Inside, there’s a little space for you to stand and pay money (for takeout), but no place to sit down. Japanese pizza chains are pizza factories in the very literal sense of the word.

Delivery itself is handled by a mostly-young, mostly-male team of delivery staff, who speed around their store’s designated territory delivering pizzas that were ordered online or over the phone.

a Japanese pizza delivery scooter

Because young adults in Japan typically do not have their own vehicles to use to deliver, the dispatch of hot pizzas to hungry customers is done on motor-bikes like the one above.  I’d love to have one of those to zip back and forth to work… They’re like scooters but they’re better because they have a place to hold something and you’re protected from the rain.

Yummy Japanese Pizza!

How would you like a “Crab and Shrimp Mayo King” pizza? no? how does “Potato & Curry with Tartar Sauce” sound? I could really go for a “Berauma Omochi Chicken” pizza, myself. Japanese pizza has some of the most unique combinations imaginable, and even if they sound strange they usually are actually really tasty. Yes, you can find almost anything on a pizza here in Japan. …almost

Who doesn’t like Hawaiian pizza?

The Japanese don’t like Hawaiian pizza, that’s who! Even though they’re perfectly fine putting a sunny-side-up egg or a full unsliced sausage on a pizza, for some reason they think pineapple is weird because it’s “sweet” and “a fruit.” Psh! Tsk! Bah!

Hawaiian pizza is thoroughly discriminated against, too… If it’s to be found at all, it’s near the bottom of the menu. Pizza-la includes it only in their “Children’s menu” section. Pizza Hut, which is otherwise a bastion of American-style pizza arrangement, doesn’t even offer it. RAAAAGGGGEEEE!!!!

…Corn?

In contrast, Japanese have a strange fascination with adding corn to their pizza, of all things. Even the little instant pizzas that you get from 100 yen stores always come with a few pieces of corn (I’ll guess it’s partly there for aesthetic). It puzzles me a little bit but… well, whatever… it’s not bad, I guess.

5 Pizza Reviews

Over the new year while I hid myself away in my apartment and became one with Final Fantasy XIII, and during that time I ordered out for pizza 3 times (that’s in a span of 6 days), and I had another pizza about a week later and another after that with a coupon a friend gave me. In the order that I devoured these, here’s what I got and what I thought.

1.

The Pizza: Large Half-and-Half Giga Meat + Chiki-Teri (Chicken Teriyaki)

Yes, that’s broccoli on the pizza. No, I’m not kidding, seriously: broccoli. Oh, and the white stuff? That’s mayonnaise (Japanese mayo, mind you, not that white paste that gets passed off as mayonnaise in America… but that’s another blog post). Yep, this is the kind of perverted stuff that Japanese like to do to pizza. Strange? a little. Delicious? Hell yeah!

2.

The pizza: Medium Hawaiian Delight

Although they push it down to the kids menu, Pizza-la provides expatriates the only real Hawaiian pizza on this island. It was so delicious I forgot to take pictures before I dove in…

3.

The pizza: Large UFO (4-mix), Berauma Omochi Chiken x Spicy Tuna x Hawaiian x Super combo with sausage crust.

Aoki’s is the most exotic of the major pizza chains in Japan. They have the most unique menu, and they’re the only place that will allow you to mix and match 4 pizzas from their regular menu with their “UFO” deal (other pizza chains only let you do half and half). Aoki’s is great if you’re looking for a delicious pizza that is also kind of an adventure.

One interesting tidbit about Aoki’s: they don’t cut the pizza all the way to the edge of the crust on purpose, to hold the pizza together for delivery. However, I think they should cut it… Domino’s, and Pizza Hut and Pizza-la all managed to deliver the pizza just fine with the slices.

Some of Aoki’s seasonal or regional specialties and limited edition pizzas don’t even resemble pizza…

4.

The pizza: Large half-and-half Super Korean Purukogi + Bacon Mushroom with cheesy roll crust.

Japanese Pizza Hut is probably the most “American”-style pizza out of this bunch. Their menu has some Japanese favorites like seafood and mayonnaise, but nothing too outrageous. Pizza hut is also the most generous with their tomato sauce (other pizza places tend to be a little lacking).

I highly recommend checking out their Super Korean Purukogi, by the way. My local pizza hut has a half price day every month (on some of their menu, take-out only), and I always get the Purukogi.

5.

The pizza: Large Seafood Italiana

Yeah, I know I’ve already tried a Pizza-la pizza, but a friend of mine gave me a coupon for Pizza-la so I decided to get a second opinion. This seafood pizza comes with shrimp, shellfish and squid, among other things.

Ordering Pizza Online

I could have called in my orders, but for this blog I decided to do everything online. All four of these pizza delivery chains allow you to order online.

Screenshots (Feb 12, 2010)

Domino’s (left) – Pizza-La (right)

Pizza Hut (left) – Aoki’s (right)

Although Aoki’s pizza’s online ordering system was down yesterday when I went to take a screenshot, it was working over New Year’s holiday when I made my order. Even then, though their order system was outsourced to a pretty primitive looking 3rd party website. I hope Aoki’s gets their online act together soon.

As for the others, they all offer pretty much the same ordering experience. You locate which store you need to order into by searching your postal code, then select and order your pizza and you’re done. Domino’s takes credit cards but none of the sites require payment before delivery.

Here’s a quick table I’ve compiled to compare these 4 chains and their sites…

	Pizza Hut http://www.pizzahut.jp/	Domino’s http://www.dominos.jp/	Pizza-La http://www.pizza-la.co.jp/	Aoki’s Pizza http://www.aokispizza.co.jp/
Requires Registration to order?	no	yes	no	n/a (site wasn’t working)
Large pizza size?	31cm / 10 slices	36cm / 12 slices	36cm / 12 slices	35cm / 12 slices
Medium pizza size?	25cm / 8 slices	25cm / 8 slices	25cm / 8 slices	25cm / 8 slices
Mix and match?	Half & Half only	Half & Half only	Half & Half only	Half & Half or 4-way (UFO)
Online deal	Free drinks (tea)	5% discount*	Free side dish	Free drink or side dish
Menu in English?	Pizza names only	Downloadable	Yes (link)	No
Hawaiian???!	No	Yes, with corn.	Yes!!!	Yes, but HUGE pineapple chunks
Overall online order experience	★★★★	★★★★★	★★★	★
Overall pizza satisfaction	★★★	★★★★	★★★	★★★★★
Unique touch	Adequate pizza sauce	Style and selection	Scratch card game	Epic Japanese pizza
Weak point	Large size is small	A little pricey	Poor selection	Crappy website

* Domino’s also offers a free 1-liter coca-cola coupon on their site and you can win other coupons that you can use right away by playing their flash games.

Which do I recommend?

Now that I’ve tried all four, I can see that they all have their strengths and weaknesses. Which one I recommend depends on what the pizza objective is:

• Exotic and delicious? = Aoki’s
  • All around, Aoki’s offers a superb pizza with excellent options, and out of the box they are absolutely beautiful works of art.
• I WANT MEEEEEAAAAT!!! = Domino’s
  • Domino’s also offers a wonderful pizza and is the most generous with their toppings.
• Hawaiian = Pizza-La
  • Something about Pizza-La’s menu items just don’t appeal to me. They all look good, but when I actually go to order I feel like there’s only a couple I would really pay for. But, they offer a good Hawaiian pizza with no surprises.
• Half-price day pizza = Pizza Hut
  • In terms of pizza, Pizza Hut doesn’t have much to say in their defense other than that they use more sauce. But if you’re in Japan and your local Pizza Hut offers a half-price day (not all do), then plan ahead and get yourself one of their Purukogi pizzas!

Prices

Pizza in Japan is very expensive by western standards. A medium pizza typically runs 2000 to 2500 yen ($22-27 USD), a large pizza will cost 2900-3600 and up. Dominos has a reputation as the most expensive and certainly their top end is higher (Large Prime Seafood = 3950 yen) than other chains, but most of the pizzas on their menu don’t vary much when compared to other chains.

…But remember!

In Japan, you don’t need to tip the driver.

Japan Blog Matsuri!

イッツ・ア・祭り～ぃ！ I’ve entered this blog post in this month’s JapanSoc Japan Blog Matsuri! This month’s host is Muza-chan’s Gate to Japan! (Thank you, Muza-chan!)

Let’s all celebrate this month’s Matsuri with a delicious pizza!

Nooooooooooo!!!!! But, but, but… I downloaded it from the US store… I pay for my apps and songs (songs which I wouldn’t have known about if it weren’t for Pandora!) with US dollars using my US credit card and… I’m a US citizen!!! I couldn’t help but feel a little betrayed.

It turns out, because of copyright licensing issues, Pandora blocks access from IPs that are outside the United States. Fortunately there exists a way to use Pandora anyway.

The technology is called VPN (Virtual Private Network). Primarily intended to increase information security when browsing the internet, VPNs act as a proxy between you and everything you connect to, so if your VPN is located in the US, then Pandora will think you are accessing from within the US. ラッキー！

iPhone supports 3 different VPN protocols, and the ones we are interested are L2TP and PP2p. Don’t worry, I don’t know what that means either.

Set up your VPN

First you’ll need an account on a VPN server that is based inside the US. Hotspotshield offers a free L2TP VPN specifically intended for iPhone. Click the link to go to the site, where they provide you all the information you need to get your VPN set up. It takes 5 minutes.

After you have your VPN information set up, just switch it on in your settings. Once the little VPN logo shows in your iPhone status bar, open Pandora and you’ll be able to use it without any problems at all. Woohooo!!!

However…

You’ll probably notice that when connecting from Japan, Hotspotshield’s free VPN frequently disconnects–every 20 minutes or so. It holds a signal about as well as Stephen Hawking holds a cup of coffee. And since Pandora checks your IP after every few songs, if you don’t have a stable VPN, Pandora can be a bother to use. You get what you pay for.

You’ll notice on my VPN list I have a Witopia account. For $40 a year (a mere $3.33 a month), they offer a PP2p (setup is identical to L2TP) service that will hold its ground much more reliably than the free L2TP from Hotspotshield. It’s not perfect: I usually get one disconnect shortly after I start using it each day, but once I reconnect after that I can use it for several hours at a time without a disconnect.

I’m not affiliated with Witopia in any way other than being their customer and am getting no compensation or benefit for recommending them. Yes, there are other VPNs out there that might be better, and I could get a refund from Witopia (they have a 30-day money back guarantee) and go try some of the others, but their VPN is sufficiently problem free for me that I don’t feel an urge to go through the work of trying another.

Make it even better

Even a rare disconnect can be frustrating if you are using a non-Jailbroken iPhone, because this means you need to exit Pandora… go into settings… general… network… turn the vpn on… wait for the connect… … … go back to Pandora… blah blah blah… However, with a jailbroken iPhone, you can get SBSettings (anyone jailbreaking their iPhone should really have this anyway), and a VPN switch plugin for SBSettings. Once you’ve got these, you simply swipe your finger across the iPhone status bar to open it, and press one button to (re)activate your VPN. You don’t even need to leave Pandora!

(My SBS Settings panel (Glasklart theme) with the VPN switch)

So, the magical formula for enjoying Pandora on your Japanese iPhone is: Quality US-based VPN + Jailbreak (SBSettings + SBSettings VPN Toggle). Enjoy!

One last thing

Starting December 2009, Softbank began limiting bandwidth for heavy data users on their 3G network. This applies to users who exceed about 1.2GB of data transfer per month. One hour of Pandora will run you about 15-30 megabytes of transfer depending on how many songs you skip, so keep that in mind as you enjoy your tunes.  (Original press release in Japanese)

HIRAGANA Version

ROMAJI Version

* Required software (free): Adobe Acrobat Reader

What is this?

This is a “cheat sheet” for the Japanese language. It is an attempt to condense and organize as many of the basic elements of the language onto one sheet of paper as possible.

How do I use it?

The intended use of this document is for you to download it, print it on two sides of one sheet of paper and keep it wherever you need it (in your Japanese textbook, on your desk, in your pocket, etc).

It’s possible to keep the cheat sheet on your computer, but it won’t be anywhere near as handy or portable as a printed version, and you’ll need to do quite a bit of scrolling and zooming because of the small font size.

What information is inside?

Page 1

• Formal (polite) verb forms
• Informal verb forms
• Neutral verb forms
• Verb conjugation guide for U-Verbs, RU-Verbs and the irregulars (suru, kuru)
• Hiragana chart
• Katakana chart
• Kanji chart listing all JLPT N5 (previously: Level 4) kanji.
• Chart of the forms of de aru (desu)
• Adjective/Adverbs usage chart

Page 2

• Core particles: は, が, を, に, と, で, も, か, へ, の, や (wa, ga, o, ni, to, de, mo, ka, e, no, ya)
  • Usage points
  • Example sentences color coded for easy vocabulary tracking
• Assisting particles: だけ, しか, ほど, より, でも, くらい, ばかり, から, まで (dake, shika, hodo, yori, demo, kurai, bakari, kara, made)
  • Example sentences color coded for easy vocabulary tracking
• Common grammatical words and patterns
  • Example sentences color coded for easy vocabulary tracking
• Verbs for giving and receiving
• A small space to add a couple small written notes of your own

Who is this for?

This document will be most useful for beginner to intermediate Japanese learners. A beginner will find the document to be more of a roadmap to what information they should study next and how it fits into the “bigger picture,” and an intermediate Japanese learner get more use with this document as a reference for review.

Why are there four versions?

There are four versions of the file in order to accommodate for users in different parts of the world (North America uses different paper sizes from the rest of the world), and to provide users with a choice regarding how Japanese text is written: using the Japanese hiragana script, or using romaji (phonetic representation in the western alphabet).

What this document is NOT

This document is in no way intended to be a substitute for serious study and learning. Acquiring a human language with 2000+ years of history is a massive undertaking, and this cheat sheet provides only the bare minimum explanation for topics that have great depth.

Nor is this document a comprehensive overview of Japanese language. I’ve tried my best to include as much of the most useful and basic elements as possible, but to get this onto 1 sheet of paper, many things were omitted.

Changes from the old version

Aside from a complete, from-scratch graphical overhaul in Adobe Ilustrator (the old version was made in Microsoft Word), this new version contains updated and expanded information. Here is a pretty complete list of changes:

• “Polite” verbs forms is now more accurately called “Formal” forms, and the command form ～nasai has been moved into this category accordingly.
• Instead of marking forms that cannot be made into a verb with koto/no, noun-able forms are now marked.
• Added abrupt command forms in the informal category.
• In both the formal and informal categories, the causative form of kuru has been corrected to kosaseru, not koraseru
• Added to the neutral verb forms category: Even (if)…, To do too much…, To do… and so on, To seem to want to…
• The note about using verbs as nouns with koto or no is now in the footer.
• Added a note about potential rudeness with the word darou.
• Added a note about how desu/da changes when noun-ified.
• Changed the na-adjective noun form to the form without sa, since this is the more common method (note added)
• Added the continuous/combining form for na-adjectives.
• Changed the old explanation about easily confused i-adjectives to the true difference (the ~ei thing is just a shortcut, no i-adjectives end in ~ei but there are a few na-adjectives that end in い and are not preceeded by an e-line sound.). Added a couple commonly confused na-adjectives also.
• Added a note about the adjective ii, because it always conjugates as yoi.
• Made numerous changes to explanations and example sentences for the particles.
• Added the particle no.
• To the common grammatical words/structures section, added: ka mo shirenai and no you na/ni
• Removed tame from grammatical words section, to make room and because it was already mentioned in the informal verbs section on page 1.
• Added a note that kudasaru is typically used as kudasai.
• Added a small space for the learner to write a few notes of their own.

With this new cheat sheet, the old version is now a sad sight to behold, but it can be downloaded here (8.5×11) and here (A4).

OMG This is so awesome!!!!!

I think so too!!! That’s why I made it. If this document is helpful to you and you’d like to show your appreciation, please consider making a donation to Nihonshock. I’ll take whatever you feel like you can spare.

Oh, and don’t forget to retweet it, tell all your friends, link to Nihonshock on your blog (if you have one), follow me on Twitter and subscribe to the RSS feed!

Get high quality prints

Since I made the data for this cheat sheet in Adobe Illustrator, it was only natural to go ahead and get some professional-quality prints on good, strong paper stock to pass around. Go get your copy (totally free) at any of the locations I’ve marked on the Google map below (Nagoya only, unfortunately, because that’s where I live).

I’ll try to keep them in good supply at these locations, but be aware that they might run out from time to time. I will tweet new locations and re-stockings, so if you’re following me on Twitter you’ll always be the first to know.

I’ll also try to find places to leave some in Tokyo or Osaka whenever I get an opportunity to visit either location.

Not in Nagoya, Tokyo, or Osaka?

I’ll mail you one!!! Yeah, that’s right! I’ll mail it right to you.

But you know, it costs money and time to mail these, not to mention the money and time I’m already investing in this cheat sheet (getting prints is costing me several hundred dollars a run, and as you can see… Nihonshock has no ads). As such, I’m only going to extend this offer to those who make a donation to Nihonshock using the Paypal link above (or from anywhere else on the site). Just be sure to include your address and a note telling me which version you want (Hiragana or Romaji).

• Outside Japan
  • For a donation of $5 USD or more, I’ll send you 2 copies of the cheat sheet in a regular-size envelope (folded in half once).
  • For a donation of $10 USD or more, I’ll send you a few copies of the cheat sheet in a large envelope and protective clear file (unfolded).
• Inside Japan
  • For a donation of $5 USD or more, I’ll send you a few copies of the cheat sheet in a large envelope and protective clear file (unfolded).

* I only have A4 size to send. It’s a little thinner and taller than 8.5×11.

Also, I will send out cheat sheets every Friday for donations received until Thursday.

Cheat Sheet Locations in Nagoya

You can pick up one of these fine prints from any of the following locations. Please also contact me if you know of any other good spots!

View Japanese Cheat Sheets (Nagoya) in a larger map

Final word

Please comment and let me know what you think of the cheat sheet, if you notice any mistakes or if you have any suggestions for improvement. I’ll release minor updates to the cheat sheet whenever I get a new round of prints, but the next major update probably won’t be until next year.

Of the lot, wa (は) and ga (が) are almost undoubtedly the most annoying pair of particles to keep straight, no doubt because neither of them has a true English equivalent. They’re probably the most frequently used particles in the language, so you need to learn them early (note: you won’t master them early), but it’s very difficult to find a decent explanation for them even in big bulky text books. And if you want to make your Japanese teacher sweat, just ask them to explain the difference.

I’ve devoted a lot of introspective soul-searching time to thinking about these two little guys, and in this article, I’m going to do my best to shed some new, meaningful light on the difference between は and が.

Traditional wa and ga “explanations”

First, lets do a quick wrap up of the 3 big bread-and-butter responses you’re most likely to get when asking someone about the difference between は and が.

Stock response #1: は is the topic marker and が is the subject marker.
Learner reaction: Well gee, thanks, that clears up everything for me (sarcasm). Aren’t “subject” and “topic” synonyms??

Stock response #2: You just have to get used to it. You’ll figure it out eventually. Don’t worry about it.
Learner reaction: I don’t want to figure it out “eventually,” dammit, I want to know right now!!

Stock response #3: Look at this example and see how は and が changes the meaning!
Learner reaction: Well okay, I get the example, at least, but what happens in this different sentence? You’ve given me a fish without teaching me how to do it myself.

While none of these explanations is inherently wrong or useless (except maybe #2), each fails in its own unique way to really get at the root of our problem. There has to be a better way to explain it. So… you ask, what is the real difference between は and が…?

The real difference

は is the topic marker and が is the subject marker. Wait! Cursors off the back button, please. Hear me out.

There’s a reason you’ve heard this explanation so many times. The problem is just that no one bothers to explain what they mean by topic and what they mean by subject. To learn our Japanese, we first have to have our English on right. Here’s a diagram to illustrate:

• Topic: a non-grammatical context for the whole sentence.
• Subject: a grammatical relationship only to the verb.

See, that’s not so hard, right? By the way, I’ve worded these two definitions very carefully so if you just glanced over them, go back and read them closely, please, because this is very important. Okay? done? Let’s move on, then…

The number one difference is that while a subject has a explicit grammatical role (the thing which does the verb), a topic is just like a big cloud, with no set relationship to what’s actually going on in the sentence; it’s just there, floating around the sentence.

Okay, so that’s all well and good: subject versus topic.

Easy.

Piece of cake.

朝飯前.

Right? Not quite…

Subject and topic are very distinct roles and it’s not difficult to understand their difference. But what is a poor gaijin to do in real life situations? Since we only ever have subjects in English (never topics) it still takes some getting used to before you can accurately distinguish between where we should use one or the other in a real-life situation.

To help start you down the (long) path to mastery of these two terrible particles, here is a deeper look.

The feeling of wa and ga

Consider the sentence: A は B. If we were to turn this sentence to an image, here is what it would look like:

Because は marks a topic–something non-grammatically related to the sentence–you can think of it like a picture frame. The thing は marks surrounds and labels the sentence, but is independent of what goes on inside. は is a good observer.

Then we have the sentence: A が B.

が–in contrast to は–is much more involved in the sentence. It’s almost like a conqueror. It specifically lays its claim on the verb, almost like it’s setting up a border and denying outsiders access.

This difference is why when looking at a picture of several cute girls, a young man might point his finger at one and say:

watashi wa kanojo da ne.

and mean, “I like her.” But he could not say watashi ga kanojo da, which would have to mean “I am her.”

Different situations, different particles

You may have heard the explanation that は gives emphasis to what comes after it, and が to what comes before it. This explanation isn’t correct in and of itself, but it does bring attention to the fact that when we do want to bring attention to the subject (ie. who or what did something), が is the usually the most logical choice.

Another example I’ve come across that for some reason stuck with me is one that likened は to the and が to a/an, apparently because we would use が to introduce new information to a discussion and は when it is repeated. Again, this misses the point (and is completely unreliable as a guideline, by the way), but it highlights a tendency that arises from the difference between subject and topic: topics are better suited for description and explanation, subjects are better for declarations and statements.

One clever example sentence for は and が that I’ve come across is: watashi wa [my name] desu. vs. watashi ga [my name] desu. While these sentences in English both come out as “I am Lloyd.” In Japanese, they answer different questions:

Q: Who are you?
A: watashi wa Lloyd desu.

Q: Who is Lloyd?
A: watashi ga Lloyd desu.

Here’s a similar example I came up with, showing how the question changes when we use an adjectival sentence.

Q: What do you think of Japan?
A: nihon wa omoshiroi desu.

Q: Which country is interesting?
A: nihon ga omoshiroi desu.

And one more, for those of you with Japanese girlfriends/boyfriends.

Q: What do you think of my voice?
A: anata no koe wa kirei desu.

Q: What part of me is beautiful?
A: anata no koe ga kirei desu.

Unless you are asked the proper question specifically, you should always use が in situations like this. The reason is because は frames the sentence around the voice, so your darling might mistakenly think you are implying that other things about them are not beautiful.

…which brings me to the next important point…

“Contrasting” versus “Distinguishing”

It’s often said that は is used for comparing things. But this is not quite as straightforward as you think. For example, why do we say A yori B no hou ga ~, using が? Isn’t this sentence making a comparison? What gives?

は compares the nature of things. Think of it like this: if A は B, then C は D and E は F. Everything is unique. When we make a statement about something with は, the implication is that other things lack that quality, or have a completely different quality. は states what makes something unique: it contrasts one thing from other things.

が compares the degree of things. If A が B, then C might be B too, but not as much as A. が is great for calling out one specific thing from a group of similar things and showing it off: it distinguishes one thing from others.

Now might be a good time to scroll back up to the example sentences and have another look, if you can really pin down the difference in nuance between contrasting and distinguishing, and see how that is related to topic versus subject, then you’re well on your way to knowing how to use these particles.

The removal test, the comma test

Okay, now for my final trick, I’m going to tell you how to actually test whether you should use は or が.

This is tricky. In Japanese, there is rarely ever a sentence that becomes grammatically incorrect if you chose は when you should have said が or vice versa. The incorrectness that arises from misusing these particles is that you convey an unintended meaning.

So how can we possibly make a test that will hold true across different situations?  Since は marks a topic, information that–while important–does not have a grammatical role, it is much less central to the message of the sentence than a が marked subject. So try this: take it out altogether.

watashi wa?/ga? kuruma o unten shimashita. (I drove the car.)

What happens to the sentence? Does it:

a) become vague, but still have the core information that we need to convey. (ie. in answer to the question “What did you do?“)
b) completely lose its ability to communicate the information we want. (ie. in answer to the question “Who drove the car?“)

If you answered a, は is probably the particle you’re looking for. On the other hand, if your sentence just became a steaming pile of useless words without it (b), が is probably your best bet. I won’t guarantee that this works in all situations, but give it a try next time you are scratching your head over which particle you should use.

We could do a similar test that works on the same principle, but instead of taking out your problem word, try just marking it with a comma and imagining a pause in the sentence.

watashi, kuruma o unten shimashita. (I, drove the car.)

What happens to the sentence?

a) It doesn’t really seem strange at all.
b) The added pause seems really awkward.

If you answered a, chances are high that you need a は. But if you feel there’s something just not right about the sentence and chose b, I would advise が.

In fact, in real written Japanese, the particle は is often followed by a comma, but が almost never is (note: I’m only talking about が as a subject marker, here, not as a conjunction).

Common uses

I won’t go into too much detail on these, and you should think of them as tendencies rather than fixed rules. Everything depends on the context of the situation and what information you are trying to communicate to your listener, but subjects are better at some things and topics are better at others, and its good for learners to have a general idea which goes with which.

は (Topic)

• Good for contrasting one thing from another, talking about difference in substance.
• Good for relaying factual information, as though you were reading from a text book, encyclopedia or dictionary.
• Good for talking about people’s (including your own) personalities and preferences.
• Good for discussing abstract concepts and philosophical debates.

が (Subject)

• Good for down-to-earth discussion of specific events, plans, things, etc.
• Good for describing specific objects that you can feel and touch.
• Good for “pointing” to one object, pulling it out from a crowd, distinguishing it from others.
• Good for relating a chain of events, telling a narrative.

Summary

To wind up the post, here are two images that I’ve prepared that wrap up the differences between は and が as cleanly and snugly as I could manage. By the way, these summary boxes can also be found on Nihonshock’s new Japanese cheat sheet! Check it out if you haven’t already!

As always, comments are welcome.

As usual, here I’ve collected all the proverbs I tweeted in January (looks like I missed one on the 2nd…), including their translations and meanings and other notes, where appropriate. Enjoy, and please follow me if you like them! I’ve been doing this for almost half a year and don’t know how many more months I’ll be able to keep finding new proverbs to tweet, but I still really don’t feel like I’m running out.

1. 一年の計は元旦にあり

Reading: いちねんのけいはがんたんにあり (ichinen no kei wa gantan ni ari)
Translation: “The sum of the year is on New Year’s day.”
Meaning: Preparation and planning are the foundations of success.

2. 良薬は口に苦し

Reading: りょうやくはくちににがし (ryouyaku wa kuchi ni nigashi)
Translation: “Good medicine tastes bitter.”
Meaning: The advice we least want to hear is the advice we need the most.

3. 人は見かけによらぬもの

Reading: ひとはみかけによらぬもの (hito wa mikake ni yoranu mono)
Meaning: You can’t judge people by their appearance.

4. 泣きっ面に蜂

Reading: なきっつらにはち(nakittsura ni hachi)
Translation: “A bee-sting on a crying face.”
Meaning: One bad thing on top of another / Compounded misfortunes.

5. ミイラ取りがミイラになる

Reading: みいらとりがみいらになる (miira tori ga miira ni naru)
Translation: “The mummy-taker becomes the mummy.”
Meaning: Setting out to try and persuade someone of something, but ending up getting turned to their side.

6. 上には上がある

Reading: うえにもうえがある (ue ni mo ue ga aru)
Translation: “Even the top has a top.”
Meaning: No matter how good you are, there’s always someone better.

7. 二階から目薬

Reading: にかいからめぐすり (nikai kara megusuri)
Translation: “Trying to apply eye drops from the 2nd floor.”
Meaning: Too roundabout or far-fetched of a method to be effective.
Note: We can also say 天井 (てんじょう = ceiling) instead of 二階 for this proverb.

8. 二足のわらじ

わらじ - Straw sandals

Reading: にそくのわらじ (nisoku no waraji)
Translation: “Two pairs of straw sandals”
Meaning: Someone with two different jobs (ie. Actor/Governor)

9. 堪忍袋の緒が切れる

Reading: かんにんぶくろのおがきれる (kanninbukuro no o ga kireru)
Translation: “To snap the string on your tolerance bag.”
Meaning: To lose your temper.

10. 朝飯前

Reading: あさめしまえ(asameshimae)
Translation: “Before breakfast”
Meaning: Something very easy which can be finished quickly / a piece of cake.

11. 情けは人の為ならず

Reading: なさけはひとのためならず (nasake wa hito no tame narazu)
Translation: “Kindness is not (entirely) for others”
Meaning: If you are kind to others, eventually you will be repaid.
Note: 大辞林 (the major J-J Dictionary) says some younger generations mistakenly think this proverb means “being kind is bad for you,” they think this because they think the 人 in the proverb refers to the person doing the kind act, but it actually refers to the recipients of the act.

12. 全ての道はローマに通ず

Reading: すべてのみちはローマにつうず (subete no michi wa ro-ma ni tsuuzu)
Translation: All roads lead to Rome.

13. 善は急げ

Reading: ぜんはいそげ (zen wa isoge)
Translation: “It is good to hurry.”
Meaning: Strike while the iron is hot.

14. 早かれ遅かれ

Reading: はやかれおそかれ (hayakare osokare)
Translation: Sooner or later.

15. 急がば回れ

Reading: いそがばまわれ (isogaba maware)
Translation: “If you rush, you’ll go around in circles.”
Meaning: Haste makes waste.

16. 覆水盆に返らず

Reading: ふくすいぼんにかえらず (fukusui bon ni kaerazu)
Translation: “Spilled water will not return to the bowl.”
Meaning: Once something has been done, it cannot be undone.

17: 後の祭り

Reading: あとのまつり (ato no matsuri)
Translation: “The day after the festival.”
Meaning: You’re too late / you missed your chance.

18. 伝家の宝刀

Reading: でんかのほうとう (denka no houtou)
Translation: “The family’s treasured sword.”
Meaning: An effective tactic or tool, but one which should only be used at critical moments.

19. 鬼に金棒

Reading: おににかなぼう (oni ni kanabou)
Translation: “Giving a club to a demon.”
Meaning: Increasing the power of someone who is already powerful.

20. 怪我の功名

Reading: けがのこうみょう (kega no koumyou)
Translation: “An accidental glory.”
Meaning: A mistake or careless action leading to a fortunate result.

21. 河童の川流れ

河童 (kappa)

Reading: かっぱのかわながれ (kappa no kawanagare)
Translation: “A kappa swept away by the river”
Meaning: Even experts fail sometimes.
Explanation: Kappa are Japanese monsters that live in rivers, so they’re supposed to be very agile in water.

22. 前門の虎、後門の狼

Reading: ぜんもんのとら、こうもんのおおかみ (zenmon no tora, koumon no ookami)
Translation: Fleeing a tiger at the front gate only to find a wolf at the back
Meaning: Out of the frying pan, into the fire. From one bad situation to another.

23. 目の上のたんこぶ

Reading: めのうえのたんこぶ (me no ue no tankobu)
Translation: “A lump above your eye”
Meaning: Someone who gets in your way and/or on your nerves.

24. ペンは剣よりも強し

Reading: ぺんはけんよりもつよし (pen wa ken yori tsuyoshi)
Translation: The pen is mightier than the sword.

25.  コロンブスの卵

Reading: ころんぶすのたまご (koronbusu no tamago)
Translation: Columbus’ Egg
Meaning: A clever idea. Something simple to copy, but difficult to think of.
Explanation: This proverb is a reference to an anecdote about Columbus. Apparently, at a banquet, he challenged some people to stand an egg on end; none of them could do it. Columbus then hit the bottom of the (hard boiled?) egg firmly against the table, breaking the shell slightly. Of course, this way the egg did not fall over as before.

26. 目には目を，歯には歯を

Reading: めにはめを、はにははを (me ni wa me o, ha ni wa ha o)
Translation: An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.

27. 一寸先は闇

Reading: いっすんさきはやみ (issun saki wa yami)
Translation: “One inch forward is darkness”
Meaning: The future is unpredictable.

28. 当たらずとも遠からず

Reading: あたらずともとおからず (atarazu to mo tookarazu)
Translation: “Not a hit, but not far off.”
Meaning: A nearly correct guess.

29. 流れに棹さす

Reading: ながれにさおさす (nagare ni sao sasu)
Translation: “to thrust a pole in the flow”
Meaning: to make swift progress in good circumstances.
Note: Some Japanese mistakenly think this proverb means “to resist the change of times/to go against the grain”. The “pole” mentioned in the proverb is actually supposed to be a pole used for navigating a boat, or a tool to utilize the flow to your advantage.

30. 立て板に水

Reading: たていたにみず (tateita ni mizu)
Translation: “Like water running down a standing board”
Meaning: Speaking fluidly and without hesitation (and without end) / going off on a spiel about something.
Note: @tomoakiyama had this to say: “I have translated it as verbal diarrhea.”

Do you take some sort of sick pleasure in forcing me to drink these ridiculous concoctions!?!?!? Curse you, curse yo….. wait… This is… actually not half bad.

Suntory has done what Sapporo couldn’t: mix the flavor of chocolate into a non-coffee drink. Congratulations, Suntory! I don’t really think I needed 500ml of the stuff, I would have been happy with just a taste. Anyway, drinking this “Chocolate Sparkling” is like having a strangely flavored Jelly belly. The flavor doesn’t match the medium at all, but it’s mysteriously accurate and somehow good…

I think if I had any more than a bottle, the paradox of chocolate soda would wreak havoc on my mind… so I’ll make this my first and last bottle of the stuff this year. Maybe it’ll be back for next year’s Valentine’s day.

Translation: Contains no chocolate (chocolate was not used)

Finally, it’s interesting to note that the chocolate flavor, while strikingly accurate, uses no actual chocolate. If you’ve got a chocolate allergy but are curious what all the rage is about, this might be the drink for you!

See Suntory’s official Chocolate Sparkling page for more information (in Japanese, of course).

I’m a Sapporo beer fan. I prefer their brews to Asahi and Kirin, and generally rave about their special releases. So when I saw this on the shelf at my local convenience store, I approached it with an open mind. I like chocolate, I like beer, I like Sapporo. Therefore, I like this, right? right…?

Verdict

I don’t know whose idea it was to spread the ridiculous drink flavor wars into the world of alcohol, but they should be punished. This was terrible, just terrible. I hate to waste alcohol, I really do, but the only place in the world for this is….

…down the drain.

Good riddance.

Just noticed…

Apparently this beer isn’t as new as I thought. I guess Sapporo tried this last year too. Maybe it’s a Valentine’s day thing?