7 polite phrases foreigners aren’t supposed to know

One of the joys of learning Japanese is seeing that shocked and dumbfounded look on native speakers’ faces when you fire off a difficult word or phrase that even they probably wouldn’t have come up with. You get to smile snobbishly and think to yourself: Ha! you didn’t see THAT coming, did you!?

But this simple pleasure reveals a problem for us Japanese learners. The reason it happens is because of how insultingly low expectations are in Japan for foreigners to gain true mastery of the language. Japanese are by and large very congenial toward foreigners, but getting people to take you seriously in this country is a high, high hurdle.

So what should we do? I say let’s take the fight to them! I’ve selected 7 polite/advanced Japanese expressions for this article that native speakers won’t see coming. Use these babies to let Japanese know you’re more than just another kawaii gaijin! You are super-gaijin!

1. 恐縮ですが

[kyoushuku desu ga…] Getting what you want through humility? Yes, it’s possible in Japanese. The idea is to be so polite and endearing that people won’t be able to refuse you.

恐縮, taken literally, means something like “to shrink in fear of causing any unpleasant feelings”. It comes in handy when making requests for assistance or information.

つまらない質問で恐縮ですが・・・
I’m terribly sorry to trouble you with such a silly question, but…

2. 光栄に存じます

[kouei ni zonjimasu] Literally “to think of something as an honor”, this is a real whopper of a way to say thanks when you’ve received gifts, praise, or gratitude from a Japanese person.

お役に立てておりましたら光栄に存じます。
I’m honored that I was able to be of assistance.

3. お言葉に甘えます

[o-kotoba ni amaemasu] Take this one to the izakaya with you! In a country where offers and suggestions are almost expected to be refused, this splendid phrase gives you a free ticket to make a Japanese person walk their talk. So if they tell you to order whatever you like, pop them a それでは、お言葉に甘えます and get the most expensive thing on the menu! (but remember it’ll probably still be 割り勘 when you’re done)

お言葉 means “your words” and 甘え means something like “expressing your affinity for someone by letting them spoil you”.

(Note: the concept of 甘え is something very non-western and deserves a better explanation, fortunately there’s already an English-language wikipedia article about it)

4. お見知りおきを

[o-mishiri oki o] Meaning: “please remember me”. We don’t really have an equivalent phrase in English, but this is a very polite line sometimes heard in personal introductions. The ください that would logically come at the end is usually omitted.

〇〇と申します。以降お見知りおきを。
My name is 〇〇. I’m looking forward to getting to know you.

5. ご無沙汰しておりました

[go-busata shite orimashita] 無沙汰 means “going a long time without visiting or corresponding with someone”. The ご makes this phrase more polite, as does the おりました instead of いました. This is a useful phrase for getting back together with someone you haven’t written to or spoken to in a long time.

長らくご無沙汰しておりました。
I’m sorry that I haven’t contacted you in such a long time.

6. 御機嫌よう

[go-kigen you] Probably the easiest phrase on this list to actually use, 御機嫌よう is a sophisticated and polite greeting and parting phrase (that means it can be either “hello” or “goodbye”, similar to aloha). It literally means “may you be in a good mood”. (Note: よう here is a form of 良い)

If you read manga or watch anime, you’ll notice that this is the greeting word of choice for rich and high-class characters.

7. 冥利に尽きる

[myouri ni tsukiru] 冥利 is a kind of divine providence or fortune, a blessing of happiness that comes from having some role or position in life. 尽きる (in this case, at least) means “to be at the highest point”. Put it together, and you get a phrase that expresses attaining the highest level of happiness that can be derived from a role/position, probably because something good just happened to you.

外国人冥利に尽きます！
It’s so awesome being a foreigner!

17 Responses

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East Asia Blog Roundup : 23/5/2010 « Eye on East Asia says:

May 23, 2010 at 10:05 pm

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January 18, 2011 at 4:12 am

[…] learning and vocabulary site. From crime, to age-related words, to “inside info” on polite phrases. And a great little treatise on the maddening difference between “wa” and […]

Comments

Awesome article; thanks! I’ve heard a lot of these expressions, but was never really sure how to use them. It’s always fun when you pull the super-gaijin move… I’ll be on the lookout for chances to use these sometime! ^^

by: Jennifer/arcticwind07, May 23rd at 1:38 pm
This is excellent and your writing is always so engaging
super-gaijin for the wiiin!
これに感謝します!

by: Willow, May 24th at 12:36 am
Hahaha..not kawaii gaijin but super-gaijin!! woo!! =P Thanks for these useful expressions, be sure to keep them in mind. Am a beginner learner of Japanese language, and love reading your posts ~^^~ hmm perhaps u can also post some posts on pronounciation guide? the same japanese words sometimes sound different in different situations =P

by: yuetching, May 24th at 11:27 am
I’ve never heard ご無沙汰しております used in anything but the present tense. When would the past tense make sense for that?

by: Durf, Jun 4th at 2:40 pm
@ Durf: Thanks for pointing that out! A quick google search turned up 5x more results for the present tense than the past tense.

My instinct tells me the present tense is more of just a set phrase, but the past tense actually focuses the discussion on the lack of contact (the statement that follows should explain why/when/how).

I know I should probably ask a native…

by: Lloyd Vincent, Jun 14th at 10:01 pm
@durf and vince

Past/present tense rule for ご無沙汰 is the same as ありがとう in past or present!

by: gravy train, Jul 14th at 11:07 am
I’m a native Japanese speaker but I can’t remember having ever used those super polite and high grade Japanese expressions in real life. Because those expressions are not only used at some special/formal occasion but also you have to be old enough to be deserved to use them. (They sound kind of old fashioned.) I’m sure most young Japanese have never used them.

1. 恐縮ですが　　2. 光栄に存じます　　3. お言葉に甘えます　　4. お見知りおきを　　5. ご無沙汰しておりました　　6. 御機嫌よう　　7. 冥利に尽きる

For Non-Native Japanese speaker I wouldn’t recommend to use them unless you are a perfect Japanese speaker. Otherwise they sound strange if not kidding. It’s OK anyway, when you understand you can speak strange Japanese as you are a stranger.(foreigner) And don’t forget that you really NEED to be polite when you use them. If not, they don’t work…

by: TofuUnion, Jul 14th at 4:24 pm
Umm, A hui hou is used as a goodbye. Aloha is used as more of a thank you, now get the *insert expletive* out of my face sort of response. Although a quiet polite, “Now get the *expletive* out of my face”

by: Hawaii, Jun 14th at 7:45 pm
Wow!!!
Great helpful…..
私の感謝。。。

by: RANJAN, Dec 10th at 6:58 pm
could you please share some books for special polite like these…….thank you ..

by: kedar shrestha, Apr 9th at 5:33 pm
I learnt the first one in one of the exercises from Japanese the Spoken Language III. I just asked the meaning on today’s class.

by: M, Sep 20th at 3:07 pm
I am so glad to know this articles,doumo arigatou gozaimashita

by: Maria, Oct 30th at 2:12 am
Can’t we all just learn Esperanto?

by: Mike Jones, May 14th at 5:49 am
Hi. As a native Japanese, I’d like to let you know that it’s not common to say ご機嫌よう even if you are rich person. It sounds like you are from Meiji period or something. Just for your notice.

by: Shunya, Oct 24th at 10:19 am