People apparently noticed those at anime conventions using this pronoun to address each other. Males close to one another would typically use “omae” to address each other, however this is a little too rough for the sort of males who’d be attending a manga/anime convention, nor are would they know each other well enough to use it anyway, so they settled for “otaku” – something used more by housewives to other housewives than males of any sort.

More information: https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=-mOCOZz-YtoC&pg=PA13&lpg=PA13&dq=otaku+%22your+house%22&source=bl&ots=BfIh0ao-tv&sig=aSMdnpg5Py-S21Vnr_j3vx1etAI&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CDsQ6AEwBWoVChMInYiqpaTxxwIVaRrbCh246AvB#v=onepage&q=otaku%20%22your%20house%22&f=false

I struggle mightily with the “you” issue even today — not whether or not to use “kimi” or “anata,” both words I avoid like the plague, but the conundrum of saying “you” to someone I don’t know — like people you only meet in transition — like someone sitting next to you on a plane. It doesn’t matter what hierarchical status they are — they might be older, or younger, or whatever — but for the duration they’re just a Japanese person on a plane. Just as in English, I would not be inclined to ask their name unless the conversation got, like, REALLY serious, but in English, “you” is never a problem

But in Japanese it’s always a big problem for me as to how to address them when you just can NOT avoid saying “you.” As in maybe asking, “and you, where in Japan do you come from?”

Since I avoid “anata” like the plague, I’m faced with this massive problem. I don’t want to ask their name — that is WAAAY farther than I want to go, say, on a plane ride, but then, what to do?

I know it’s wrong to say (and I’ve been told it’s wrong,) but I fall back on “kono kata wa?” where “kata” is the respectful term for someone no one knows the name of, but it’s kind of my way of getting myself off the hook by not using “anata” yet remaining respectful. So, with a hand gesture indicating that the “kono kata wa” means “and this person” (in front of me whose name I do not know) . . . where does [this person] come from?”

It always seems to work for me. A Japanese person will always tell you it’s okay to use “anata” but Japanese people are quite often the wrst teachers of their own language, and just tell you what you seem to want to hear instead of giving it to you straight.

Any opinions, YOU GUYS? (Omaetachi!)

“anata” is basically safe if you don’t know the name of the person you’re talking to, but if you do, your safest option to use their family name + “san”.

Unless you’re an anime character, you always need to consider who you’re talking to and your relationship to them when choosing what word or name suffix to use.

There are 2 ways to use kisama:
When you talk to someone of equal status or lower status
When you call someone down