At last, the time has come to unveil what I’ve spent the last several months working on: a pack of Japanese cheat sheets for intermediate to advanced Japanese learners.

No doubt this is the single largest project I’ve ever tackled. I spent literally hundreds of dollars on reference books, probably more than a hundred hours dissecting real-life Japanese materials, and hundreds more hours applying my very best language and organizational skills. The result? I think I got (almost) the entire language onto nine sheets of paper.

Nihonshock’s Japanese Cheat Sheet Pack

• Basic Japanese (a new-and-improved version of the old sheet)
• Advanced Grammar
• Advanced Verbs
• Numbers and Time
• Spoken Japanese
• Natural Japanese
• Beyond Vocabulary
• Keigo
• Kanji

It’s not quite done yet. I still want to take time to polish and “test drive” everything and also get plenty of native-speaker checking. I’m putting my name and reputation on these, so it has to be perfect. That’s what I’ll be doing in June, so don’t expect much blog activity this month either.

The cheat sheet set (9 sheets in all) will be offered as laminated high-quality prints and priced at $25, which I think is reasonable considering they contain several times the amount of information similarly-priced books have, in a unique format.

I won’t go into detail here about the sheets because I made a sub-site specifically for them, loaded with details. So… go check it out! Feel free to leave questions or comments here if you have any, since the product site is not commentable. Note that there is a FAQ section on the product page, so if you’ve got a question the answer might already be there.

Thanks for supporting Nihonshock!

(Translation: Lloyd used his blog as an excuse to order delivery pizza 5 times in one month.)

Anyway, let’s start with the unique way that Japan handles its delivery pizza business…

By delivery only

Pizza in Japan is basically delivery-only

In Japan, you can’t really go out for pizza. If you try to track down your local pizza place by address… you’ll find a site something like you see in this picture of a Pizza-la in Nagoya (Osu), and it will probably be in a more residential area than a commercial one. Inside, there’s a little space for you to stand and pay money (for takeout), but no place to sit down. Japanese pizza chains are pizza factories in the very literal sense of the word.

Delivery itself is handled by a mostly-young, mostly-male team of delivery staff, who speed around their store’s designated territory delivering pizzas that were ordered online or over the phone.

a Japanese pizza delivery scooter

Because young adults in Japan typically do not have their own vehicles to use to deliver, the dispatch of hot pizzas to hungry customers is done on motor-bikes like the one above.  I’d love to have one of those to zip back and forth to work… They’re like scooters but they’re better because they have a place to hold something and you’re protected from the rain.

Yummy Japanese Pizza!

How would you like a “Crab and Shrimp Mayo King” pizza? no? how does “Potato & Curry with Tartar Sauce” sound? I could really go for a “Berauma Omochi Chicken” pizza, myself. Japanese pizza has some of the most unique combinations imaginable, and even if they sound strange they usually are actually really tasty. Yes, you can find almost anything on a pizza here in Japan. …almost

Who doesn’t like Hawaiian pizza?

The Japanese don’t like Hawaiian pizza, that’s who! Even though they’re perfectly fine putting a sunny-side-up egg or a full unsliced sausage on a pizza, for some reason they think pineapple is weird because it’s “sweet” and “a fruit.” Psh! Tsk! Bah!

Hawaiian pizza is thoroughly discriminated against, too… If it’s to be found at all, it’s near the bottom of the menu. Pizza-la includes it only in their “Children’s menu” section. Pizza Hut, which is otherwise a bastion of American-style pizza arrangement, doesn’t even offer it. RAAAAGGGGEEEE!!!!

…Corn?

In contrast, Japanese have a strange fascination with adding corn to their pizza, of all things. Even the little instant pizzas that you get from 100 yen stores always come with a few pieces of corn (I’ll guess it’s partly there for aesthetic). It puzzles me a little bit but… well, whatever… it’s not bad, I guess.

5 Pizza Reviews

Over the new year while I hid myself away in my apartment and became one with Final Fantasy XIII, and during that time I ordered out for pizza 3 times (that’s in a span of 6 days), and I had another pizza about a week later and another after that with a coupon a friend gave me. In the order that I devoured these, here’s what I got and what I thought.

1.

The Pizza: Large Half-and-Half Giga Meat + Chiki-Teri (Chicken Teriyaki)

Yes, that’s broccoli on the pizza. No, I’m not kidding, seriously: broccoli. Oh, and the white stuff? That’s mayonnaise (Japanese mayo, mind you, not that white paste that gets passed off as mayonnaise in America… but that’s another blog post). Yep, this is the kind of perverted stuff that Japanese like to do to pizza. Strange? a little. Delicious? Hell yeah!

2.

The pizza: Medium Hawaiian Delight

Although they push it down to the kids menu, Pizza-la provides expatriates the only real Hawaiian pizza on this island. It was so delicious I forgot to take pictures before I dove in…

3.

The pizza: Large UFO (4-mix), Berauma Omochi Chiken x Spicy Tuna x Hawaiian x Super combo with sausage crust.

Aoki’s is the most exotic of the major pizza chains in Japan. They have the most unique menu, and they’re the only place that will allow you to mix and match 4 pizzas from their regular menu with their “UFO” deal (other pizza chains only let you do half and half). Aoki’s is great if you’re looking for a delicious pizza that is also kind of an adventure.

One interesting tidbit about Aoki’s: they don’t cut the pizza all the way to the edge of the crust on purpose, to hold the pizza together for delivery. However, I think they should cut it… Domino’s, and Pizza Hut and Pizza-la all managed to deliver the pizza just fine with the slices.

Some of Aoki’s seasonal or regional specialties and limited edition pizzas don’t even resemble pizza…

4.

The pizza: Large half-and-half Super Korean Purukogi + Bacon Mushroom with cheesy roll crust.

Japanese Pizza Hut is probably the most “American”-style pizza out of this bunch. Their menu has some Japanese favorites like seafood and mayonnaise, but nothing too outrageous. Pizza hut is also the most generous with their tomato sauce (other pizza places tend to be a little lacking).

I highly recommend checking out their Super Korean Purukogi, by the way. My local pizza hut has a half price day every month (on some of their menu, take-out only), and I always get the Purukogi.

5.

The pizza: Large Seafood Italiana

Yeah, I know I’ve already tried a Pizza-la pizza, but a friend of mine gave me a coupon for Pizza-la so I decided to get a second opinion. This seafood pizza comes with shrimp, shellfish and squid, among other things.

Ordering Pizza Online

I could have called in my orders, but for this blog I decided to do everything online. All four of these pizza delivery chains allow you to order online.

Screenshots (Feb 12, 2010)

Domino’s (left) – Pizza-La (right)

Pizza Hut (left) – Aoki’s (right)

Although Aoki’s pizza’s online ordering system was down yesterday when I went to take a screenshot, it was working over New Year’s holiday when I made my order. Even then, though their order system was outsourced to a pretty primitive looking 3rd party website. I hope Aoki’s gets their online act together soon.

As for the others, they all offer pretty much the same ordering experience. You locate which store you need to order into by searching your postal code, then select and order your pizza and you’re done. Domino’s takes credit cards but none of the sites require payment before delivery.

Here’s a quick table I’ve compiled to compare these 4 chains and their sites…

	Pizza Hut http://www.pizzahut.jp/	Domino’s http://www.dominos.jp/	Pizza-La http://www.pizza-la.co.jp/	Aoki’s Pizza http://www.aokispizza.co.jp/
Requires Registration to order?	no	yes	no	n/a (site wasn’t working)
Large pizza size?	31cm / 10 slices	36cm / 12 slices	36cm / 12 slices	35cm / 12 slices
Medium pizza size?	25cm / 8 slices	25cm / 8 slices	25cm / 8 slices	25cm / 8 slices
Mix and match?	Half & Half only	Half & Half only	Half & Half only	Half & Half or 4-way (UFO)
Online deal	Free drinks (tea)	5% discount*	Free side dish	Free drink or side dish
Menu in English?	Pizza names only	Downloadable	Yes (link)	No
Hawaiian???!	No	Yes, with corn.	Yes!!!	Yes, but HUGE pineapple chunks
Overall online order experience	★★★★	★★★★★	★★★	★
Overall pizza satisfaction	★★★	★★★★	★★★	★★★★★
Unique touch	Adequate pizza sauce	Style and selection	Scratch card game	Epic Japanese pizza
Weak point	Large size is small	A little pricey	Poor selection	Crappy website

* Domino’s also offers a free 1-liter coca-cola coupon on their site and you can win other coupons that you can use right away by playing their flash games.

Which do I recommend?

Now that I’ve tried all four, I can see that they all have their strengths and weaknesses. Which one I recommend depends on what the pizza objective is:

• Exotic and delicious? = Aoki’s
  • All around, Aoki’s offers a superb pizza with excellent options, and out of the box they are absolutely beautiful works of art.
• I WANT MEEEEEAAAAT!!! = Domino’s
  • Domino’s also offers a wonderful pizza and is the most generous with their toppings.
• Hawaiian = Pizza-La
  • Something about Pizza-La’s menu items just don’t appeal to me. They all look good, but when I actually go to order I feel like there’s only a couple I would really pay for. But, they offer a good Hawaiian pizza with no surprises.
• Half-price day pizza = Pizza Hut
  • In terms of pizza, Pizza Hut doesn’t have much to say in their defense other than that they use more sauce. But if you’re in Japan and your local Pizza Hut offers a half-price day (not all do), then plan ahead and get yourself one of their Purukogi pizzas!

Prices

Pizza in Japan is very expensive by western standards. A medium pizza typically runs 2000 to 2500 yen ($22-27 USD), a large pizza will cost 2900-3600 and up. Dominos has a reputation as the most expensive and certainly their top end is higher (Large Prime Seafood = 3950 yen) than other chains, but most of the pizzas on their menu don’t vary much when compared to other chains.

…But remember!

In Japan, you don’t need to tip the driver.

Japan Blog Matsuri!

イッツ・ア・祭り～ぃ！ I’ve entered this blog post in this month’s JapanSoc Japan Blog Matsuri! This month’s host is Muza-chan’s Gate to Japan! (Thank you, Muza-chan!)

Let’s all celebrate this month’s Matsuri with a delicious pizza!

What is this?

This is a “cheat sheet” for the Japanese language. It is an attempt to condense and organize as many of the basic elements of the language onto one sheet of paper as possible.

How do I use it?

The intended use of this document is for you to download it, print it on two sides of one sheet of paper and keep it wherever you need it (in your Japanese textbook, on your desk, in your pocket, etc).

It’s possible to keep the cheat sheet on your computer, but it won’t be anywhere near as handy or portable as a printed version, and you’ll need to do quite a bit of scrolling and zooming because of the small font size.

What information is inside?

Page 1

• Formal (polite) verb forms
• Informal verb forms
• Neutral verb forms
• Verb conjugation guide for U-Verbs, RU-Verbs and the irregulars (suru, kuru)
• Hiragana chart
• Katakana chart
• Kanji chart listing all JLPT N5 (previously: Level 4) kanji.
• Chart of the forms of de aru (desu)
• Adjective/Adverbs usage chart

Page 2

• Core particles: は, が, を, に, と, で, も, か, へ, の, や (wa, ga, o, ni, to, de, mo, ka, e, no, ya)
  • Usage points
  • Example sentences color coded for easy vocabulary tracking
• Assisting particles: だけ, しか, ほど, より, でも, くらい, ばかり, から, まで (dake, shika, hodo, yori, demo, kurai, bakari, kara, made)
  • Example sentences color coded for easy vocabulary tracking
• Common grammatical words and patterns
  • Example sentences color coded for easy vocabulary tracking
• Verbs for giving and receiving
• A small space to add a couple small written notes of your own

Who is this for?

This document will be most useful for beginner to intermediate Japanese learners. A beginner will find the document to be more of a roadmap to what information they should study next and how it fits into the “bigger picture,” and an intermediate Japanese learner get more use with this document as a reference for review.

Why are there four versions?

There are four versions of the file in order to accommodate for users in different parts of the world (North America uses different paper sizes from the rest of the world), and to provide users with a choice regarding how Japanese text is written: using the Japanese hiragana script, or using romaji (phonetic representation in the western alphabet).

What this document is NOT

This document is in no way intended to be a substitute for serious study and learning. Acquiring a human language with 2000+ years of history is a massive undertaking, and this cheat sheet provides only the bare minimum explanation for topics that have great depth.

Nor is this document a comprehensive overview of Japanese language. I’ve tried my best to include as much of the most useful and basic elements as possible, but to get this onto 1 sheet of paper, many things were omitted.

Changes from the old version

Aside from a complete, from-scratch graphical overhaul in Adobe Ilustrator (the old version was made in Microsoft Word), this new version contains updated and expanded information. Here is a pretty complete list of changes:

• “Polite” verbs forms is now more accurately called “Formal” forms, and the command form ～nasai has been moved into this category accordingly.
• Instead of marking forms that cannot be made into a verb with koto/no, noun-able forms are now marked.
• Added abrupt command forms in the informal category.
• In both the formal and informal categories, the causative form of kuru has been corrected to kosaseru, not koraseru
• Added to the neutral verb forms category: Even (if)…, To do too much…, To do… and so on, To seem to want to…
• The note about using verbs as nouns with koto or no is now in the footer.
• Added a note about potential rudeness with the word darou.
• Added a note about how desu/da changes when noun-ified.
• Changed the na-adjective noun form to the form without sa, since this is the more common method (note added)
• Added the continuous/combining form for na-adjectives.
• Changed the old explanation about easily confused i-adjectives to the true difference (the ~ei thing is just a shortcut, no i-adjectives end in ~ei but there are a few na-adjectives that end in い and are not preceeded by an e-line sound.). Added a couple commonly confused na-adjectives also.
• Added a note about the adjective ii, because it always conjugates as yoi.
• Made numerous changes to explanations and example sentences for the particles.
• Added the particle no.
• To the common grammatical words/structures section, added: ka mo shirenai and no you na/ni
• Removed tame from grammatical words section, to make room and because it was already mentioned in the informal verbs section on page 1.
• Added a note that kudasaru is typically used as kudasai.
• Added a small space for the learner to write a few notes of their own.

Final word

Please comment and let me know what you think of the cheat sheet, if you notice any mistakes or if you have any suggestions for improvement. I’ll release minor updates to the cheat sheet whenever I get a new round of prints, but the next major update probably won’t be until next year.

It’s been two and a half years since I originally wrote this post, and thanks to the many helpful comments I was able to go back and polish things a bit. The content of the article has not really changed, but I think the wording is a little clearer now. Please keep the feedback coming

Japanese particles are both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand they make Japanese grammar simple and direct, almost like a computer language. They always follow the rules because they are the rules. Particles tell us “this word does this” and “this other word does that.” However, these little suffixes can cause tremendous headaches for us English-speaking learners because they group meanings together quite differently than our English equivalents (prepositions), or in some cases have no equivalent at all.

Of the lot, wa (は) and ga (が) are almost certainly the most annoying pair of particles to keep straight, no doubt because neither of them has a true English equivalent. They’re probably the most frequently used particles in the language, so you need to learn them early (note: you won’t master them early), but it’s very difficult to find a decent explanation for them even in big bulky text books. And if you ever want to make your Japanese teacher sweat, just ask them to explain the difference.

I’ve devoted a lot of introspective soul-searching time to thinking about these two little guys, and in this article, I’m going to do my best to shed some new, meaningful light on the difference between は and が.

Traditional wa and ga “explanations”

First, lets do a quick wrap up of the 3 big bread-and-butter responses you’re most likely to get when asking someone about the difference between は and が.

Stock response #1: は is the topic marker and が is the subject marker.
Learner reaction: Well gee, thanks, that clears up everything for me (sarcasm). Aren’t “subject” and “topic” synonyms??

Stock response #2: You just have to get used to it. You’ll figure it out eventually. Don’t worry about it.
Learner reaction: I don’t want to figure it out “eventually,” dammit, I want to know right now!!

Stock response #3: Look at this example and see how は and が changes the meaning!
Learner reaction: Well okay, I get the example, at least, but what happens in this different sentence? You’ve given me a fish without teaching me how to do it myself.

While none of these explanations is inherently wrong or useless (except maybe #2), each fails in its own unique way to really get at the root of our problem: there has to be a better way to explain it. So… you ask, what is the real difference between は and が…?

The real difference

は is the topic marker and が is the subject marker. Wait! Cursors off the back button, please. Hear me out.

There’s a reason you’ve heard this explanation so many times. The problem is just that no one bothers to explain what they mean by topic and what they mean by subject. To learn our Japanese, we first have to have our English on right. Here’s a diagram to illustrate:

• Topic: a non-grammatical context for the whole sentence.
• Subject: a grammatical relationship only to the verb.

See, that’s not so hard, right? By the way, I’ve worded these two definitions very carefully so if you just glanced over them, go back and read them closely, please, because this is very important. Okay? done? Let’s move on, then…

The number one difference is that while a subject has a explicit grammatical role (the thing which does the verb), a topic is just like a big cloud, with no set relationship to what’s actually going on in the sentence; it’s just there, floating around the sentence.

Okay, so that’s all well and good: subject versus topic.

Easy.

Piece of cake.

朝飯前.

Right? Not quite…

Subject and topic are very distinct roles and it’s not difficult to understand their theoretical difference. But what is a poor gaijin to do in real-life situations? Since we only ever have subjects in English (never topics) it still takes some getting used to before you can accurately distinguish where we should use one or the other. This is where the 2nd stock response (don’t worry, you’ll get it eventually) holds some truth.

To help start you down the (long) path to mastery of these two terrible particles, here is a deeper look.

The feeling of wa and ga

Consider the sentence: A は B. If we were to turn this sentence to an image, here is what it would look like:

Because は marks a topic–something non-grammatically related to the sentence–you can think of it like a picture frame. The thing は marks surrounds and labels the sentence, but is largely independent of what goes on inside. は is a good describer and observer.

Then we have the sentence: A が B.

が–in contrast to は–is much more involved in the sentence. It’s almost like a conqueror. Words marked with が stake their claim on the sentence (and the verb in particular), making a definite claim of ownership.

This difference is why when looking at a picture of several cute girls, a young man might point his finger at one and say:

watashi wa kanojo da ne.

…and mean, “I like her.” But he could not say watashi ga kanojo da, which would have to mean “I am her“, because が would specifically link him to the being verb だ.

Different situations, different particles

You may have heard the explanation that は gives emphasis to what comes after it, and が to what comes before it. This explanation isn’t correct in and of itself, but it does bring attention to the fact that when we do want to bring attention to the subject (ie. who or what did something), が is the usually the most logical choice.

Another example I’ve come across that for some reason stuck with me is one that likened は to the and が to a/an, apparently because we would use が to introduce new information to a discussion and は when it is repeated. Again, this misses the point (and is unreliable as a guideline, by the way), but it highlights a tendency that arises from the difference between subject and topic: topics are better suited for description, extrapolation and scene setting, subjects are better for declarations and statements.

One clever example sentence for は and が that I’ve come across is: watashi wa [my name] desu. vs. watashi ga [my name] desu. While these sentences in English both come out as “I am Lloyd.” In Japanese, they answer different questions:

Q: Who are you?
A: watashi wa Lloyd desu.

Q: Who is Lloyd?
A: watashi ga Lloyd desu.

Here’s a similar example I came up with, showing how the question changes when we use an adjective.

Q: What do you think of Japan?
A: nihon wa omoshiroi desu.

Q: Which country is interesting?
A: nihon ga omoshiroi desu.

This example leads me to a very important point, one which is somewhat difficult to deduce from our concept of subject vs. topic: in Japanese, topics (は) are often used to illustrate contrast.

Consider the sentence “watashi wa chikoku shita” (I was late). There are two situations where we could use this sentence:

• Topic (Normal): watashi wa chikoku shita : I was late. (used in a discussion centered around the speaker)
• Topic (Contrast): watashi wa chikoku shita : I was late. (used when some other relevant person was not late, or it is not known if they were late)

I know you’re probably scratching your head and yes, this gets confusing even for native speakers. In fact it’s one of the reasons that normal topics are so commonly omitted in Japanese. If the contrast is intentional, however, は cannot be omitted (the sentence would become quite confusing if you did).

The big thing for learners to take away from all this is that は has the potential to imply a contrast. So the next time you talk to a pretty Japanese girl, be careful not to say “me wa kirei desu ne” (your eyes are beautiful), which could easily imply “but your other features are mediocre”. “Me ga kirei desu ne” is a matter-of-fact statement with no strings attached, much better in this situation.

…which brings me to the next important point…

“Contrasting” versus “Comparing”

Here we have yet another situation in which confusion in Japanese stems from overlooking some of the fine points of English.

I stated above that  は is used for contrasting things, that’s something which is commonly said of は. I did not state that it compares things. It’s very important to make this distinction.

“Contrast (は)” juxtaposes the nature of things. Think of it like this: if A は B, then C は D and E は F. Everything has a certain property which is either true or false. When we make a “contrast” statement about something with は, the implication is that other things either lack that quality, or have a completely different quality.

“Comparison” juxtaposes the degree of things. If A is B, then C might be B too, but not as much so as A. As the subject marker, it’s が’s job to call out one specific thing from a group of similar things and showing it off: it distinguishes one particular thing.

Note that が is used in the common (comparison) grammatical form: ～ yori ～ no hou ga … (“～ is more … than ～”)

Now might be a good time to scroll back up to the example sentences and have another look. See if you can really pin down the difference in nuance between contrast and comparison, and see how that is related to topic versus subject. If you can, then you’re well on your way to knowing how to use these particles.

The removal test and the comma test

Okay, now for my final trick, I’m going to tell you how to actually test whether you should use はor が.

This is tricky; in Japanese, there is rarely ever a sentence that becomes grammatically incorrect if you chose は when you should have said が or vice versa. The error that arises from misusing these particles is that you convey the wrong meaning.

So how can we possibly make a test that will hold true across different situations? Well, since は marks a topic, information that while important does not have a definite grammatical role, it is much less central to the message of a sentence than a が marked subject. So try this: take it out altogether.

watashi wa?/ga? kuruma o unten shimashita. (I drove the car.)

What happens to the sentence? Does it:

a) become vague, but still have the core information that we need to convey. (ie. in answer to the question “What did you do?“)
b) completely lose its ability to communicate the information we want. (ie. in answer to the question “Who drove the car?“)

If you answered a, は is probably the particle you’re looking for. On the other hand, if your sentence just became a steaming pile of useless words without it (as in situation b), が is probably your best bet. I won’t guarantee that this works in all situations, but give it a try next time you are scratching your head over which particle you should use.

A similar test that works on the same principle is to try replacing the particle with a comma or imagining a pause in the sentence.

watashi, kuruma o unten shimashita. (I, drove the car.)

What happens to the sentence?

a) It doesn’t really seem strange at all.
b) The added pause seems really awkward.

If you answered a, chances are high that you need a は. But if you feel there’s something just not right about the sentence and chose b, I would advise が.

In fact, in written Japanese, the particle は is often followed by a comma, but が almost never is (note: I’m only talking about が as a subject marker here, not as a conjunction).

Common uses

I won’t go into too much detail on these, and you should think of them as tendencies rather than fixed rules. Everything depends on the context of the situation and what information you are trying to communicate to your listener, but subjects are better at some things and topics are better at others, and its good for learners to have a general idea which goes with which.

は (Topic)

• Good for contrasting one thing from another, talking about difference in nature or substance.
• Good for relaying factual information, as though you were reading from a text book, encyclopedia or dictionary.
• Good for talking about people’s (including your own) personalities and preferences.
• Good for discussing abstract concepts and philosophical debates.

が (Subject)

• Good for neutral, matter-of-fact statements that are meant to relay a specific piece of information.
• Good for physical descriptions, describing things that you can feel and touch.
• Good for “pointing” to one object, pulling it out from a group, or distinguishing it from others.
• Good for jumping from one thing to another making a series of not-closely-related statements.

Summary

To wind up the post, here is an image that I’ve prepared that wraps up the major usage points for は and が as cleanly and snugly as I could manage. These summary boxes can also be found on the Basic Japanese cheat sheet sheet (part of Nihonshock’s Japanese Cheat Sheet Pack! The Basic Japanese cheat sheet can be downloaded for free in PDF format from the cheat sheet site, so check it out if you haven’t already!

As always, comments are welcome.

No, there’s no relationship to maid cafes or anything like that. It’s not even really a place to get a cup of coffee (though they do offer a small selection food and drinks). It’s a “cafe”  more in the sense of an internet cafe and the usage system is almost identical, except instead of a room full of computers you buy time to go into a room full of cats.

Meow, as a cat lover this was purrfectly right up my alley (sorry, but I wanted to get all the puns out of the way early), so I went to check it out one morning.

Everyone gets an introductory tour on their first visit, so I guess that would be a good place for me to start the blog too.

Reception Area (left). Private rooms (right).

Hand-wash area.

This is the first floor. You enter the cat cafe, take off your shoes and put on slippers, then you get your time slip that records when you entered the cafe and whether you asked for any of the hourly package plans (you can get a special deal for 1 or 2 hour blocks). Then, you proceed to the handwash area (so you don’t give your germs to kitty).

Right next to the handwash room are all the private rooms. If you choose to pay for a private room you get to choose your room/cat and you have them all to yourself for as long as you are in the room. Not sure if all that includes a guarantee that the cat will be playful/awake or not…

Anyway, I didn’t elect for a private session so let’s go upstairs toward the play room.

Stairwell (left). Relaxation area for drinking and reading–humans only (right).

The cafe has a really nice atmosphere, that stairwell especially makes you feel like you’re in someone’s house rather than at a business. In fact, I’m pretty sure this place IS a renovated part of the owner’s house.

At last! The playroom (careful, the cats don’t miss a chance to run out the room when you open the door)!

Kitteh!!!

I got here right as the cafe opened, and it looks like some of the staff were just recovering from a hard night of… whatever it is cats do at night.

Yawning (left). Hung over (middle). Sleeping in (right).

早速、「ふれあい」してみましょう！

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnddddd!!!!!

What? Okay, well… here’s more pictures of cats!

Cats in their natural habitat (left). Tom (right).

I was at the cafe for around 50 minutes and payed just under 1000 yen when I left. I didn’t order any drinks or snacks or anything but I did get a soda from the drink bar (which you are required to pay for even if you don’t use).  All in all it was a refreshing and relaxing time and a new experience.

The cats were rather subdued (in all fairness however, cats are almost always very calm) but there was some ball chasing action in the play room. I’m sure the cats would be very excited if you brought them one of the treats which are sold in the ガチャポン (gachapon : coin operated capsule toy machines) outside the play room and downstairs.

Verdict

I will probably go back and may even go for a 2 hour pack! I love cats, and apparently the boy cat team and girl cat team take turns in the play room every hour or so, so if I went back I could see even more adorable little critters. If you love cats, you might enjoy a cat cafe too!

There are actually four cat cafes altogether in Nagoya (see links at the bottom of the post), but judging by the websites I have seen, the one I visited (Neko Manma) seems to be the best put together (I haven’t tried any of the others, so I don’t know for sure though), and it’s in a more residential area so it’s not crowded with people. Their website claims that they are Nagoya’s 最大級 (saidaikyuu) cat cafe, which means the largest.

More pictures

Storefront (left). Cat-related reading materials (middle). The secret cat area (right).

Lolcats!

And now, to fulfill my lifelong dream of authoring my very own lolcats!

Tada!

Neko Manma Cafe

If you’re in Nagoya and you like cats, go check this place out! It’s about a 10 minute walk from Gokiso station (kind of in the Seiyu direction, for those of you who know where that is already). Be sure to check out Neko Manma Cafe’s official website too. Here’s a google map for anyone interested.

View Larger Map

Links to Cat Cafes in Nagoya

• 猫まんま (Neko Manma). Station: 御器所/Gokiso
• なーごなーご (Na-go Na-go). Station: 御器所/Gokiso
• キャットストリート (Cat Street). Station: 栄/Sakae
• 猫のまほう (Neko no Mahou). Station: 伏見/Fushimi

For this article, I’m going to introduce to you my personal collection of “I” words that I’ve encountered here in Japan (even if I’ve only seen them once or twice in obscure contexts). Hopefully, this list will help to prepare you for your own Japanese adventures.

Common forms

Of the many ways to say “I” in Japanese, these are the ones that are actually used by real, living people who are being serious.

Watashi

Watashi (私) is the standard, gender-free way to say “I” and is the first one learners are introduced to. If you don’t know which I-word to use, this is your best bet.

The only trap I know of is that in Japanese saying “watashi mo” (meaning: “me too”) can come off as very effeminate if you use it in an informal situation. Men should take care to say “boku mo” or use some other I-word instead.

Watakushi

Yes, the kanji is the same as for watashi (私) (watashi is actually just a shortened form of watakushi).

This word is a highly formal “I.” You might hear politicians, CEOs, or other public-relations figures use it when making official announcements, but generally you should avoid this word as it can come across as arrogant or condescending.

If you watch anime or read manga, you’ll notice that this is the I-word of choice for rich characters.

Boku

Boku (僕) is what you could think of as the “soft-masculine” I-word. It literally means “manservant” so when you use it there is a sense that you are humbling yourself before the speaker.

It has a more informal feeling than watashi, however, so you may want to be careful when using it with strangers, authority figures and colleagues.

Boku is used primarily by men, but very young and/or boyish girls sometimes use it too. I’ve also heard women use boku in song lyrics.

Light says boku (friendly/humble). L says watashi (polite/formal).

Ore

If boku is the “soft-masculine” I-word then ore (俺) is the “hard-masculine.” This is the word tough guys use, and as such you would almost never hear it used with a polite verb form.

It’s not polite by any stretch of the imagination, but to say it’s a “rude” word would be a mistake as well. Ore can actually convey a sense of intimacy (we’re close friends, so I don’t need to worry about being polite with you). This is probably the most common I-word among groups of men (except in business or other formal settings).

Eikichi Onizuka, a character perfectly suited to saying ore.

Atashi

This is an informal effeminate form of watashi. It has a kind of “cute” nuance to it. Because kanji are generally seen as masculine, this word has no kanji form. It is written in either hiragana or katakana. (Well, the word does come from watashi so you might see it listed with 私 in a dictionary)

Uchi

Uchi (内) is one word for “I” that I didn’t learn until well after I came to Japan, but once I did I was surprised at how commonly used it was. It literally means “inside.”

Saying uchi for “I” is informal and has no gender connotation. This is a good word for women to use if they want to be informal, but avoid the cuteness of atashi.

Kochira/Kocchi

This is another popular and versatile way to say “I.” It literally means “this way.”

While kochira and kocchi are the same word (kocchi is an abbreviated version), they differ pretty dramatically in how formal they are. Kochira is highly polite and is often used in business situations, especially one the phone. Because of it’s root meaning of “this way” it is ambiguous in number, it can be used to mean “we” without any changes to the word.

Kocchi is much more informal and frequently used among friends. It’s also handy for its neutrality, meaning that when you use it you’re not making a statement about your social position relative to the listener (you are–however–still making a statement about social distance).

Note: similarly, you can use sochira/socchi to mean “you.”

Ware

Used more commonly in it’s “we” form (我々/wareware), ware (我) by itself and meaning just “I” is pretty uncommon, but not unheard of.

It’s also probably the the most difficult I-word in this post because depending on how you use it it can come out not only as “I” but either as “one’s self” (not necessarily the speaker),  or even “you” (although usage as “you” is very dated).

My impression of this word is it has a kind of wise, sage-like feeling to it. It’s almost always used in a short, declarative statement of some kind.

Washi

This is yet a further shortening of the word watashi. It is reserved for use by old men or men who for some reason have acquired a very slurred speech style. Perhaps they dropped the ta to keep themselves from spitting on people when they talked.

In the Kansai region, this I-word can be further shortened to just wai.

Personal name

While we don’t do this in English, in Japanese it’s possible to use your own personal name when saying “I.” Basically, you can speak in third person perspective. This manner of speaking is somewhat frowned upon as being childish, however, so be careful should you decide to use it. (it’s probably best if you simply don’t use this method altogether, just know that you might hear somebody else talking like this someday)

Special forms

Be careful, because this second group of I-words are no longer used in modern Japanese (though Japanese know them through media and literature), and as such they will definitely alert your listener that you are consciously selecting your I word, usually either as a joke or to imitate some character. While they’re fun to know, don’t use these under regular circumstances.

Wagahai

Bowser (or as he is known in Japanese, クッパ/kuppa) says wagahai.

Wagahai (吾輩) is a classical way to say “I” that was used by older men of high social stature. You will find this in the title of Natsume Soseki’s famous work, 吾輩は猫である (wagahai wa neko de aru / I am a cat).

Oira

Oira (おいら) is an alternate form of ore which was more widely used back in the Edo period. It was apparently used even by some women in the late-Edo period.

Today, this word has a youthful and male feeling to it (because of it’s youthful nature, it is rarely written in it’s kanji form: 己等), and is the I-word of choice for… housepets! (as spoken through their owners, of course…) Try a quick google image search for this word, it will bring up many pictures of Japanese peoples’ pets.

Sessha

Sessha (拙者) is another classical way to a say “I” which literally means “clumsy person.” Samurai used this word, because being humble about their abilities was the samurai thing to do.

Atai

The word atai is a girls-only “I” word that is a shortened version of atashi. It originated with the courtesans, prostitutes and young girls from Tokyo’s pleasure quarters, but it seems that most people are unfamiliar with this history.

I believe there are some dialects and regions in Japan where this word can still be heard but I’m not sure exactly where… One of my Japanese friends that I asked said it sounded like a Kyuushuu dialect.

Yo

Yo (余) is yet another rarely used classical way to say “I.” It was used by men of extremely high stature. I’ve really only come across it being employed by “heartless-overlord”-type characters in some anime and manga.

Warawa

Warawa (妾) is how a samurai’s wife would say “I.” It’s a classical female form, used by women to humble themselves before others. The kanji itself refers to a man’s non-primary wife or his mistress.

Conclusion

It’s both an intriguing and challenging aspect of Japanese to have so many options where in English we have only one. By learning to pay close attention to these words, we can pick up on valuable clues about a person’s social status and personality. And by learning to use the right I-words for each situation and partner, we can communicate with people and manage relationships more effectively.

(Unlike video game and anime characters) most people switch between a few different words as their situation demands. Personally, most of the time I stick to boku and watashi (I’ve been trying to use ore more with my guy friends lately, but old habits die hard). Sometimes I mix things up with a little uchi and kocchi, too.

This list is complete to the best of my knowledge (assuming I haven’t forgotten anything…), but I’m sure there’s probably a few more I-words floating around out there that I haven’t come across yet. I’ll be sure to update this list if I find any new ones.

Well, today I’m going to hopefully answer that question for everyone once and for all.

As a disclaimer, I’ll just say that the information in this article is largely based on what I found on the following two Japanese pages. I did however do some research of my own at the Nagoya City Library and found a few more noteworthy kanji that I will add to the tale.

• 画数の多い漢字
• 画数の多い漢字たち

The most strokes

In this article I will basically follow the same format as the articles I pointed to above which provided the bulk of the information I’m using. That is: we will start by looking at the Japanese elementary school 1st year kanji with the highest stroke and work our way up year by year, level by level and eventually dictionary by dictionary until we reach the top.

Elementary school year 1

Stroke count: 12

The 1006 kanji Japanese children learn at elementary school are strictly regulated, so all students learn all kanji in the same order. Year one starts pretty easy, the kanji for forest takes #1 with a stroke count of 12. Not so bad when you consider you’re just putting 3 tree (木 ) characters together. Easy as pie.

Elementary school year 2

Stroke count: 18 each
In year 2 things have gotten quite a bit more difficult already. This year students will have to come to terms with two kanji that require a hefty 18 strokes to pen, and they’re a quite a bit more complicated than putting three identical characters together.

Elementary school year 3

Stroke count: 18
Another 18 stoke kanji takes the crown in the 3rd year of elementary school.

Elementary school year 4

Stroke count: 20 each
4th grade ups the top count to 20 strokes, with a tie for first place.

Elementary school year 5

Stroke count: 20
Year 5 keeps chugging along with another 20 stroke champion.

Elementary school year 6

Stroke count: 19 each
Year 6 students can take a bit of a breather since they’ll only have to work with this pair of 19-strokers. But they can’t breathe for long since things are going to get harder real soon.

Secondary education level

While there are strict rules for the kanji that Japanese students learn in elementary school (教育漢字 – EN), in middle school and high school there is no definite progression so each school and instructor varies slightly. So, we shift our focus now to the well known 漢字検定 (kanjikentei, often just called kanken) test. Level 4 of this test is approximately the same in difficulty as the 1st year of Japanese junior high school.

Kanjikentei level 4

Stroke count: 23
A mighty debut into the realm of 20+ kanji, this is where you’ve got to make sure your thinking cap is on right. This character means “mirror” or “to look back”

Level 4 of the Kanken covers approximately 1300 characters.

Kanjikentei Level 3

Stroke count: 21 each
A couple steps back in stroke count though not necessarily in difficulty. Although you’ve probably only come across 顧, which means “to reflect” or “to observe“, if you’ve been studying the language for a while, 魔, or “demon” is one most people already know because it’s used so often in comics, on tv, etc.

Level 3 of the Kanken covers approximately 1600 characters.

Kanjikentei Level 2

Stroke count: 21
Keeping the same stroke count as the previous kanken level, this kanji refers to a large military ship or battleship.

Jouyou kanji

Level 2 of the kanjikentei examination marks the completion of the widely recognized Jouyou kanji, which total 1945 characters altogether. Thus, weighing in at 23 dashes of ink, 鑑 is the stroke count champion within this important group.

Characters for use in names

Stroke count: 24 each
In addition to the Jouyou Kanji, Level 2 of the kanken also requires knowledge of the 983 (until recently there were only 285) kanji officially recognized for use in names . The highest stroke counts in this group are 鷹, which means “hawk“, or the 麟 from 麒麟 (kirin), which means “giraffe” (or a different mythical animal) and is the name of a Japanese beer brand.

Jouyou kanji (including old forms)

Stroke count: 25
Many kanji used today are simplified versions of more difficult kanji that were used up until the end of World War II. If we include the old versions for these characters, the new leader of the Joyo kanji becomes 廳. The simplified form of this character used today is 庁.

Kanjikentei level semi-1

Stroke count: 29
Moving up to the 2nd highest level of the Kanjikentei, we are now in the realm of what a highly educated adult Japanese can read (but probably not write). 鬱 is a Japanese character famous for its high stroke count and complex composition of elements. It means “depression“, which seems appropriate… it’s depressing that you have to work this hard just to write a single character.

JIS 0208 Kanji

Stroke count: 30
JIS 0208 (Japanese Industrial Standards) specifies 6355 kanji for “exhange of information.” This specification is the what Japanese character sets in computers are based on (more or less).

One of these characters is 驫, which is comprised of three horse characters and means–not surprisingly–many horses. Apparently there’s an unstaffed train station in Aomori prefecture where you can find this character. The station is named 驫木駅 (todorokieki).

鸞 is slightly less obscure. It’s found in the name of the founder of the Joudo Shinshuu (pure land) sect of Buddhism. Shinran (親鸞)was the guy’s name.

Kanjikentei level 1

Stroke count: 33
Kanjikentei Level 1 is the holy grail for kanji lovers. It covers every kanji you will ever need to know and far too many more that you won’t. It also requires you to know highly obscure readings for all the kanji which you oh-so-mistakenly thought were easy (ie. Did you know that 両人 can be read as futari?).

With a 14% success rate even among actively studying, intelligent, adult Japanese applicants, there is no higher honor of nerdiness to be bestowed than to pass this test. And the highest stroke count you’ll find here is a dazzling 33 strokes,  made up of 3 characters for deer pushed together. It means “rough” and is typically simplified to just one deer character when it is actually used (it appears in some 4-character compounds).

Note: This character is included in the JIS 0212 kanji set (less widely supported than JIS 0208).

The Twilight Zone

To the best of my knowledge, the 33 stroke 麤 is the highest stroke count that can be rendered on (most) computers (it’s in the MS Gothic font with Windows XP and higher, and perhaps earlier versions too). But wouldn’t it be all too easy if kanji stopped there. No, no my friend, it does not. This is actually where the real stroke count games begin.

Once you’ve mentally prepared yourself for the carnage of ink on paper you’re about to witness, scroll over these images I’ve prepared (computer fonts as far as I know don’t include these characters and if they do the display will be unreliable) and gaze in awe at the top stroke count kanji from the major Japanese kanji dictionaries. Remember that these are each intended to be a single character only, that is… written between two lines on a sheet of paper.

Monsters, aren’t they? Okay, now it’s time to look at the big daddy of all dictionaries. The 大漢和辞典 (daikanwajiten). It spans 12 volumes (plus 2 supplements and and index book) each big enough to make the Bible look like an easy read. At the library where I checked the kanji for this post, the daikanwa took up an entire shelf. Talk about overpowering. It contains, get this… 51,109 kanji characters.

How many kanji do you learn each week at university? 10? Let’s say 20. At 20 kanji a week… you would need 50 years to learn all of these kanji. And that’s without summer vacations.

But I digress, there’s no reason to waste your life learning kanji that nobody knows when somebody has already written the dictionary for you. Let’s just look at the highlights, shall we?

So in the daikanwajiten, the mother of all kanji dictionaries, there is a tie for 1st place. How are we to resolve this dilemma?

But wait, there is another. That’s right, a kanji that’s not in the daikanwa. And for that matter, a kanji that’s not even in any historical Chinese records.

Behold….!

According to a 2002 newspaper article from Kumamoto, somebody in Japan was apparently using this as their personal name as recently as the 1960s. The kanji has been included in the most comprehensive computer-based dictionary software available (the konjyakumojikyou).

Otodo has made several appearances on Japanese variety TV shows, where Japanese ooh and aah at how “difficult” it is, but really this kanji is just a pain in the a#$. You write cloud three times and under it you write dragon three times. When you’re done your hands and eyes hurt and you’ve got what’s basically a black spot on a piece of paper.

Personally, I don’t think this is even a legitimate kanji. It was probably some guy’s idea of a joke, and because of one loser’s strange sense of humor now everyone wants to rewrite history. Kind of an anticlimax, really. But, despite its origin, it’s gained a place in history and so in a sense it has become a real kanji.

The nihonshock award for most strokes goes to…

Now I get to add my two cents on the issue. Take a look at the 84 stroke kanji again. Yeah that’s a lot of strokes, but what we’ve really just done is written cloud and dragon three times each and called it one kanji. The number of unique strokes or the number of strokes that you actually need to know in order to write the character is actually just 28 (雲 = 12 + 龍 = 16).

The same goes for both 64 stroke kanji from the daikanwa, and the 52 stroke from the koukanwa and the 48 stroke from the koukijiten. They’re all just pushing clouds and thunder and dragons together and calling it a character. Hogwash, I say!

I don’t know what the Japanese think but I call that cheating. So I opened up the daikanwa myself and found the character with the most unique strokes.

And the winner is….!!!

Congratulations to sei! Now that’s what I call a kanji.

However, I have to admit that even this method ended in a tie, because there was another 44 character kanji in the daikanwa which met the requirement of having entirely unique parts. A (small) round of applause for the runner up, please!

Why runner up? Well, look at it. It’s lots of strokes, but the right half is like the other disqualified kanji, just sticking easier ones together. The only difference is it’s squishing different kanji together instead of multiplying the same one. Boo! The bottom left is a triple wing (unique, but hardly difficult). Really the only trick to this kanji is remembering that top left bit.

Other people may have their opinions and research on which kanji is really #1 and I welcome all comments. There’s a lot of information in this article so I probably made some mistakes even. Let me know if you spot anything.

On a final note I just want to say that for a variety of reasons, stroke count and difficulty are not the same thing. Not even close. But since there’s no way to really measure how difficult a kanji is, I’ll probably never get around to writing that article.

Supplement

Just for kicks, here’s a short list of some words that look really hard, but which Japanese people read all the time (just don’t ask them to write it).

Not only are 100 yen shops a kind of messiah for tight-budgeted students, travelers and residents, they are an honest to goodness goldmine for top-quality Japanglish. I imagine some of the products they carry ended up there specifically because the maker realized their translation was rubbish.

Recently I made a trip to the Skyle building Daiso in Sakae, Nagoya… here’s what I came away with.

Do not play it rudely

Oh, that’s a very nice looking bowl. A little expensive for a 100 yen store item but very nice cracked glaze-work… Let’s look at the usage notice on the back.

Okay, I’ll be sure not to play it rudely. But why can’t I use this near the TV? (o_O)

On a side note, I have no clue how they got that first particular English sentence from the original Japanese, which basically says “please do not bump, throw or handle this object roughly.”

Oh look, there are some nice tea pots over there!

Made of Poland

…hm?!

Oh no! My homeland (I’ve got Polish blood) is being turned into value tea pots!!!

I can’t bear to look…. speaking of bears, what’s that I see on those plates over there?

British Bistro Bear

Bistro bear! That dawg. He’s such a lady-killer. I’m actually the proud owner of a bistro bear coffee mug at home, with the same Japanglish on it of course.

And he’s British, even.

Let’s see… what else is there to look at in this 100 yen store…

Round tray of non-slip processing

Non-slip trays! Just what my shaky hands need. Oh and look, they even illustrated and translated the non-slippage concept for us. Let’s take a look.

Bag of holding and cloak of invisibility jokes aside though, I’d really better get myself one of these before it becomes such a situation.

On the plus side, this particular English should get points for at least getting its meaning across.

Okay, that’s enough in the kitchen and tableware section for now. Time to move on to something else.

With ass

A lot of the big department stores in Japan are starting to charge 5 yen each for plastic bags now… maybe I should get one of these vinyl shopping bags. Hmmm, what does that blue one say?

“With ass”… You almost have to be trying to write Japanglish this good. A classic piece, this one. Truly classic. I would have bought it too if the bag itself were of at least reasonably good quality (it wasn’t).

Here are some shirts…

Possibility of synaeresis

Since we are at a 100 yen shop after all, we’d better check the usage guidelines first.

Sin… Syne…. Synaeri…. Syn-ae-re-sis. Synaeresis.

Forget that this word has absolutely no relevance to clothing at all… How in Buddah’s name did they get that word spelled right but then come up with “fluor“?

And what exactly am I supposed to understand from the sentence “separately wash with other clothing.”??

To their credit though, the word “insolate” is actually correct.